Article 59317 of rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan: From: joeshaw@joeshaw.bevc.blacksburg.va.us (Joe "Uno" Shaw) Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan Subject: Re: Ajahs Date: 5 Oct 1995 04:54:23 GMT dfa3147@vms1.tamu.edu (ALEXANDER, DYLAN FLYNN) wrote: :In article , bonecrusher@mail.utexas.edu (Brian Gaar) writes... :}I'm new to this group, and I'm only into the second book of WOT. :}Here's my question: I know the purpose of the Red Ajahs & the :}Black ones, but I'm unsure as to the other colors. Could one of :}you *oh so wise* veterans tell me all the colors and their :}purpose/reason for existing??? Thanks. :No. The reasons for this are many. In no particular order: : :1. You asked in a snide fashion. :2. You've lurked long enough to make the "oh so wise veterans" : crack, yet you apparently have not found a copy of the : FAQ, or simply missed the fact that this is lister there. : This makes one suspect you are either incompetent or rather : stupid. :3. You're posting from utexas.edu. I enjoy watching you flounder. :4. You're lazy. Read the goddamn books and find out for yourself. :5. I don't feel like it. :6. You have a stupid userid. :7. You started your post with an entirely predictable newbie : disclaimer. Bill Garret's madlib form : (http://cs.unc.edu/garrett/madlib.html, I think) is more : original. STANDARDIZED RASFWRJ BONEHEAD REPLY FORM V1.2 (adapted from the STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM by Joe Shaw) (totally unedited, in order to discomply with all UseNet bandwidth regulations) I took exception to your recent post to rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan. It was (check all that apply): ___ lame. ___ stupid. ___ boring. ___ obvious killfile fodder. ___ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable. ___ a (technical term ahead) bazillion lines long. ___ without question the most useless thing I have ever seen ___ crossposted to alt.fan.robert-jordan ___ unnecessarily crossposted to rec.arts.sf.written ___ and you didn't put "JORDAN:" in the subject line. Your attention is drawn to the fact that: ___ This is a *family* newsgroup. ___ The answer to your question is in a FAQ, specifically: (Mark only if above checked, and similarly hereafter) ___ in the rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan FAQ. ___ in the Wheel of Time FAQ. ___ in the Usenet FAQ. ___ what you posted/said has been done before. ___ And is in the rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan FAQ. ___ And is in the Wheel of Time FAQ. ___ Not only that, it was also done better the last time. ___ By you. ___ what you posted cannot possibly be. ___ Because of this reference: ________________________________. (Book, chapter, page ref.) _X_ you told someone to read the FAQ and did not tell them where to find it. _X_ you told someone to read the Wheel of Time FAQ when it would spoil them. _X_ your post/mail was a pathetic imitation of ____Joe "Uno" Shaw___. (net.personality) ___ your post/mail was sent with ___ Mozilla ___ WinVN ___ your post/mail originated from (check all that apply) ___ msn.com ___ America Online. ___ ix.netcom.com ___ FidoNet. ___ Delphi. ___ Compu$erve. ___ Prodigy. ___ a BBS. _X_ Texas. ___ your post contained MIME codes ___ your post/mail was intended to be email/a post. ___ and was both posted and emailed ___ your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, BBoard, BBS, or Notesfile. ___ your post contained commercial advertising. THE FINE FOR THIS IS $100. Please remit immediately to: RASFWRJ Cabal c/o Usenet Central Administration 916 W. Trinity Ave. #10 Durham, NC 27701 or your posting privileges will be canceled. ___ you posted a metaphor without a metaphor license. THE FINE FOR THIS IS $50. Please remit immediately to: RASFWRJ Cabal c/o Usenet Central Administration 916 W. Trinity Ave. #10 Durham, NC 27701 or your posting privileges will be canceled. _X_ you trolled a newsgroup veteran at the expense of an innocent newbie. THE FINE FOR THIS IS $__500__. Please remit immediately to: RASFWRJ Cabal c/o Usenet Central Administration 916 W. Trinity Ave. #10 Durham, NC 27701 or your posting privileges will be canceled. _X_ The amount specified is because you are a repeat offender. _X_ The punishment for your next offense will be __banishment to AOL__. ___ your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors. ___ and you are not halasz. ___ your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors. ___ and you are not an "innorant furinner" ___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!! ___ your post contained insufficient capitalization andor punctuation ___ your post/letter was an obvious forgery. ___ It was done clumsily. ___ your login name is from the Wheel of Time. ___ misspelled ___ and you did not include a non-Wheel of Time name. ___ your machine's hostname is from the Wheel of Time. ___ misspelled ___ your login name is a different handle than the one in your signature. ___ Both are stupid. ___ your attempt at a middle name fell flat. ___ Painfully. ___ you pointed out the fact that you are a newbie. ___ and it was painfully obvious anyway. ___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text. ___ you quoted an article in followup and only added one line of new text ___ that said "Me, too!!!" ___ that said "I agree." ___ that said "No." ___ that said "Yes." ___ and your name is not Aaron Bergman. ___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and only added ___ lines of text. ___ you posted a followup to an article but gave no context for your remarks. ___ and the Message-Id: of the post you replied to wasn't even in the References: header. ___ and you changed the subject line as well. ___ you called David Eddings "the penultimate author." ___ you called Erica Sadun a "non-entity". ___ you called Hawk "cutie" or "babe". _X_ you flamed a newbie for mistakes they did not make. ___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you. ___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you. _X_ your post was so stupid it could almost be trolling. _X_ But it's really too stupid even for that. _X_ and your name is not Timothy Bruening. ___ your lines are 80 columns wide or wider. ___ your software inserted newlines that made every other line less than thirty characters in length. ___ you failed to check the "Followups-To:" line. _X_ you have no .sig . ___ your .sig is longer than four lines. ___ And your newsreader truncated it. ___ your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply): ___ it's wider than 80 columns. ___ it's tabdamaged. ___ it's longer than four lines. ___ it's longer than your included text. ___ it's longer than the entire rest of your post. ___ it approacheth Kibo's in length. (Mark only if one of above four also) ___ and includes ___ lines of nothing but whitespace. ___ you listed ___ snail mail address(es). ___ and a nine-digit ZIP code. ___ you listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls. ___ and a fax number for people to use in prank faxes. ___ you included a stupid disclaimer. ___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed. ___ Miserably. ___ you included a "The est man/woman on the Net." quote. ___ and you are not a member of the Secret rasfwrj Cabal ___ you included: (Mark all that apply) ___ a stupid self-quote. ___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody. ___ the first sentence/paragraph of the first chapter of each of the WoT books. ___ a quote from the cover art that does not appear in the text. ___ a stupid quote from (Mark all that apply) ___ Verin ___ Lini ___ A movie that nobody but you ever watched. ___ On "USA Up All Night". ___ The Simpsons ___ a rock band member. ___ from Rush. ___ from Pink Floyd. ___ an obscure poet or lyricist. ___ Animaniacs. ___ The Bible. ___ With chapter and verse for the Bible-impaired. ___ Star Trek. ___ Piglet. ___ And your name is not Judy Ghirardelli. ___ a reference to Beavis & Butthead. ___ a reference to Bela. ___ lame ASCII fonts ___ lame ASCII graphic(s) (Choose all that apply): ___ An Aes Sedai seal ___ And you included the dots that aren't there. ___ A Dragon's Fang (only). ___ The tear-drop of Tar Valon (only). ___ USS Enterprise ___ Australia ___ Texas ___ Randland. ___ The Amiga logo ___ Company logo ___ and you stated that you don't speak for your employer. ___ Bicycle ___ Bart Simpson ___ Sword ___ with a heron. ___ and you claimed it was Callandor ___ A human head/face ___ plural ___ Cat/Dog ___ plural ___ Fish ___ plural ___ and your name is not Julie Kangas. ___ smiley ___ plural ___ Login name ___ plural ___ Real name ___ misspelled ___ excessive misuse of punctuation marks, namely __________ ___ In borders. ___ A great quantity thereof. ___ Fully enclosing the .sig . ___ Partially enclosing the .sig, allowing IMPORTANT and worthwhile INFORMATION to LEAK out into USENET!! Furthermore: _X_ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan _X_ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the net. ___ You are a loser. ___ You must have spent your entire life in a skinner box to be this clueless. _X_ *Sniff*. _X_ *Snort*. ___ *plonk* _X_ "Bite Me." _X_ This has been pointed out to you before. ___ It is recommended that you: (Mark all that apply) _X_ Stop parroting things you don't understand. _X_ Especially this list. ___ Go Away. Now. ___ stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up. ___ stick to America Online and switch to Fidonet when you know what a badger is. ___ Lay down and not think about Roy. ___ felch yourself. ___ squick yourself. ___ never attempt to reproduce yourself. _X_ stop easing your badger and get a life. _X_ stop reading Usenet news and get a life. ___ stop sending email and get a life. ___ don't leave your terminal whilst still logged in. ___ consume excrement. ___ consume excrement and thus expire. ___ balefire yourself. Additional comments: 1. You included an actual number six. There is no number six. 2. In the name of Leader Kibo, I officially declare you a bozo. 3. There was a serious point to this post, Dylan. Can you figure it out? - Joe