From: rgriffiths@ubmail.ubalt.edu (E Teflon Piano)
Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.astro,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: CRACKPOTS LIST
Date: 6 Jan 95 14:53:56 -0500
Organization: Misapplied Psychometry

[Abian threatens]
> I will post the above in reply to any further personal crank-connection posts.

  I dunno.  It's pretty dry. Feel free to borrow from the following, which is
what I reply to personal crank-connection posts.  BTW, a "crank-connection
post" is what engineers refer to as a "driveshaft"  HTH.

                      Do-It-Yourself Form Reply
  Please choose the appropriate response(s)
from among those below.

  [] It's liberal thinking like yours that causes all the trouble in the world.
  [] It's liberal thinking like yours that causes all the healing in the world.
  [] Me too.
  [] Read the FAQ/manual.
  [] If you had *read* the FAQ, you wouldn't have asked the kind of a question
that drew my 
     a. vicious
     b. hilarious
troll.
  [] Everybody *else* thought it was *funny*.
  [] Stop experimenting with your roommate's/mother's prescription medication.
If It wasn't intended for your use, you can *expect* dangerous side effects.
  [] You seem to have difficulty expressing your anger.  Perhaps you could
benefit from some therapy.
  [] A couple of semester hours of remedial English wouldn't be wasted on you,
either.
  [] Yes, it was a stupid, thoughtless thing to say.
  [] Your letter has been forwarded to the USENET POLICE.  Please cancel your
account and leave the building.
  [] Your question requires research that I bill at $350 an hour. Please send
a VISA number and expiration date.
  [] You kids today, you don't think something's humourous unless it contains
profanity/obscenity/indecency/explicit sexual acts involving farm animals.
  [] Oops. I was wrong.
  [] Ha! You are wrong.
  [] Your postmaster/the FBI/local authorities have been contacted.  

   Best wishes for the rest of your freshman year,
   E Teflon Piano    
-- 
E Teflon Piano is a fellow at the Institute of Misapplied Psychometry and
founder of the Internet Legal Society, WHO HAS A NEAR EARTH LIKE ORBIT AND HAS
BECOME A BORN AGAIN VENUS.[sm]