Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 05:32:16 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: Attention newbies: Official Subscirption Form

Roger.Douglas@removethis.tafensw.edu.au (Roger Douglas) says: 

A.R.K. is happy to welcome new subscirbers to Usenet's premier
newsgrope. All you need do to become a full member of this exclusive
and elite forum is to fill in the simple questionnaire below and
E-mail it to the Group Moderator at kibology@sekrit.hq, together with
your Credit Card Number, Bank Account Number and current Username amd
Password.

------->8-------A.R.K. Questionnaire---------->8----------
Place of residence:
  Boston [ ] Perth [ ] other [ ]
Sex:
  CHYK [ ] d00d [ ] don't know [ ] mind your own business [ ]
Marital status:
  Single [ ] married [ ] bigamist [ ] divorced [ ] 
  member of a commune or religious cult [ ] 
  married but cheating [ ] 
  one of Jaffo's conquests [ ]
  willing to meet Nick Bensema [ ]  
Age:  
  just a kid [ ] 13 years old [ ] a grown-up [ ] deceased [ ]
Do you have any pets:
  dog [ ] cat [ ] tortoise [ ] parrot [ ] pot-plant [ ]  
  pangolin [ ] slug [ ]
What is your religion:
  Chirstian [ ] Kibologist [ ] Other [ ]  
What sort of system are you using:
  Unix [ ] VMS [ ] Windows [ ] Mac [ ] Commodore [ ] Atari [ ] 
  Sony Playstation [ ] CyberDeck [ ] crystal wireless set [ ] 
  PDP-11 [ ] Aldis Lamp [ ] WebTV [ ]    
Are you any of the following:
  a committee, team, syndicate or political party [ ] 
  an undercover government agent [ ]
  a megalomaniac right-wing politician [ ]
  a mad scientist [ ] an alien life form [ ]  
  a droid [ ] a replicant [ ] an AI program [ ]
  a disembodied brane in a vat of nutrient [ ]   
  a member of MENSA [ ]
Occupation:
  student [ ]  physicist [ ]  typographic designer [ ] other [ ]
Do you know any songs about masturbation:
  Yes [ ]  No [ ]  What's mastribation? [ ]
Which of the following is the correct speling?
 Cindy Lawper [ ] Cindi Laupa [ ] Cyndi Lauper [ ] Spice Girls [ ]
James T. Kirk's middle name is:
  Terry [ ] Tolstoy [ ]  Tiberius [ ] Brian [ ]
Which of the following is funniest:
  Bob Hope [ ] Bob Dole [ ] Kibo [ ] Ralph [ ] Seaquest [ ]
What sort of Pants do you wear:
 Baggy [ ] Tight [ ] Rubber [ ]
 Cuffs [ ] Plain [ ] Cut-offs [ ]
 None [ ]
Size:  Waist [     ]  Inside leg [      ] 
Units:  inches [ ] cm [ ] hectares [ ] pixels [ ] nanoparsecs [ ]
 
How many books do you own?
 None [ ] One [ ] More than one [ ]
How do you arrange them:
 By colour [ ] By height [ ] By thickness [ ] 
 By throwing them on the floor [ ]

What is your favourite music:
 Ultra-Lounge [ ]  Brass bands [ ] 
 14th century French chansons [ ] Mr. Bungle [ ]
 other [ ] 

The most evil and horrible crime in the whole world is:
 spamming [ ]   forging cancels [ ]   microwaving a pet [ ] 
 attacking a neighbouring country and killing innocent civilians with
 biological and chemical weapons [ ]   trolling [ ]   other [ ]
 
The bestest and most wonderful thing in the whole world is:
 a cigar and a glass of red wine before breakfast [ ] 
 peanut butter and jelly on toast [ ] 
 being spanked good and hard on the bare bottom [ ] 
 other [ ]
   
Declaration:
I hereby promise never to make jokes about 
- Jaffo's penis
- Kibo's lovely wife Barbara Bain
- Seaquest
- the Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything
and I do hereby solemnly swear never to post in helvetica 
and never to reveal the Terrible Sekrits Of Kibology to any person, on
pain of being killed by death.

****** ME 2. ADD ME 2 THE L1ST.********  
--------->8-------end of application------->8----------

HTH.

--R.