[N.B.: Ted isn't that happy with this post; apparently his Sense of Humor
is not calibrated towards it. He wishes it known, in particular, that any
suggestions that Ted is a computer hacker or that Ted's account is not a
legal account, in the following, be ignored. I shrug and include this; if
*any* of you can find such suggestions in the following please let me know...]

Subject: Re: [talk.origins] HCS WARNING FROM HEWS, UOFE (was Re: Mammoths)
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 1994 14:56:04 -0700 (MST)

You might want to add this post to your minifaq (if there is one) on Ted
Holden.  It was posted to alt.humor.best-of-usenet.

Kragen

>Newsgroups: talk.origins
>Subject: HCS WARNING FROM HEWS, UOFE (was Re: Mammoths)
>
>*********** WARNING *********** WARNING *********** WARNING ***********
>
>FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF EDIACARA HEWS (HOLDEN EARLY WARNING SYSTEM):
>
>BETWEEN 28 MAY AND 4 JUN 1994 PRELIMINARY SIGNS OF AN HCS (HOLDEN
>CONTEXT SHIFT) EVENT WERE DETECTED ON TALK.ORIGINS IN THE FORM OF
>INCREASED PERCENT AD HOMINEM (%AH) IN HOLDEN POSTINGS.  POSTS FROM
>4 JUN 1994 AND 6 JUN 1994 CONFIRM THE SHIFT.  ANTICIPATED DATE OF
>SHIFT COMPLETION IS 13 JUN 1994.  ALL PARTICIPANTS ARE ADVISED TO
>TAKE APPROPRIATE MEASURES.
>
>
>
>TERMINATED TOPICS:
>	"ABIOGENESIS IS IMPOSSIBLE"
>	"VENUS IS NOT IN THERMAL BALANCE"
>
>	PARTICIPANTS ARE REMINDED THAT AFTER THE COMPLETION OF THE
>	HCS TED WILL NO LONGER RESPONDS TO ARTICLES ON THESE TOPICS.
>
>	ADDENDUM: ARCHIVAL SERVICES PLACES DISCUSSION CLOSURE DATE OF
>	"ABIOGENESIS IS IMPOSSIBLE" ON OR AROUND 21 MAY 1994.  FULL
>	CLOSURE WITH PARTING SHOTS MAY STILL OCCUR.
>
>
>
>PROBABLE PARTING SHOTS, CONFIDENCE LEVELS, AND CAUSE:
>	TIM THOMPSON 91% "VENUS IS NOT IN THERMAL BALANCE"
>	JAMES ACKER 83% "VENUS IS NOT IN THERMAL BALANCE"
>	DEADDOG 64% "ABIOGENESIS IS IMPOSSIBLE"
>	WARREN VONROESCHLAUB 52% "VENUS IS NOT IN THERMAL BALANCE"
>	WAYNE THROOP 29% "VENUS IS NOT IN THERMAL BALANCE"
>	TERO SAND 14% "VENUS IS NOT IN THERMAL BALANCE"
>
>	THE ABOVE PARTICIPANTS ARE REMINDED THAT DURING THE COURSE OF
>	THE HCS THEY MAY BE SUBJECTED TO SEVERE AD HOMINEM ATTACKS BY
>	TED AS THE TERMINATED TOPICS ARE CLOSED.
>
>
>
>PROBABLE NEW TOPICS AND CONFIDENCE LEVELS:
>	"MAMMOTHS COULD NOT LIVE IN SIBERIA" 93%
>	"MYTHOLOGICAL SUPPORT FOR WINC" 37%
>	"ANIMALS WERE TELEPATHIC IN SATURN'S MAGNETIC FIELD" 24%
>
>	THE ABOVE LIST IS PRELIMINARY IN NATURE.  THE LIST WILL BE
>	UPDATED AS THE HCS CONTINUES.
>
>
>ADDITIONAL WARNING: THE PRESENCE OF ADDITIONAL VELIKOVSKY SUPPORTERS
>ON TALK.ORIGINS MAY HAVE UNPREDICTABLE SYNERGISTIC EFFECTS ON THE
>PROGRESS OF THE HCS.  POST WITH CARE.
>
>
>********************* PRESS ANNOUNCEMENT FOLLOWS **********************
>
>Ediacara -- Scientists at the University of Ediacara today announced
>a Holden Context Shift on the newsgroup "talk.origins".  Although
>there is no danger to the public at large, communication on the
>newsgroup may become temporarily confused by the Context Shift.
>
>Ted researchers, monitoring the situation closely, commented on the
>event.  "Ted has a very predictable pattern in his postings," one
>said.  The pattern, as researchers describe it, is:
>
>1) Ted selects two, sometimes three, of his pet topics and posts his
>   canned articles.  The "dogpile" quickly refutes them -- practice
>   makes perfect, and they have seen the articles many, many times.
>
>2) Ted tries to shore up his arguments with a mix of poor analogy,
>   poor science, poor mathematics, and poor interpretation of myth.
>   The dogpile responds with additional refutations.
>
>3) Exchanges between Ted and the dogpile continue; however, the ad
>   hominem (and, often, obscenity) content of Ted's posts steadily
>   increases.
>
>4) The Context Shift:  Ted returns to phase 1, selecting two or
>   three different topics.  Ted abandons the old topics and refuses
>   to discuss them.
>
>"The Context Shift is a particularly exciting time," a researcher
>commented.  "We usually get a few days warning, as the ad hominem
>in Ted's postings increases to nearly 100%.  Then the Shift begins,
>and we see what new topics Ted has selected.  We often also get one
>or more 'parting shots'."
>
>He explained that the latter refers to Ted's final posts on the old
>topics.  "These are truly amazing examples of ad hominem.  He usually
>directs them at the two or three people that did the best job of
>refuting his old topics.  He _may_ sometimes respond to followups to
>the parting shots, but he drops the threads with content completely."
>
>The researcher explained that Ted's silence on the old topics is what
>causes the problems for talk.origins.  "People get cut off in the
>middle of a discussion, and try to continue it, only to be ignored by
>Ted.  It usually takes several weeks before the threads die out."
>
>The researcher chuckled as he examined the list of probable new
>subjects.  "I love it when 'Siberian mammoths' comes up.  We always
>organize a pool to see how long it is before Ted refers to Birds-Eye
>Frozen Foods, or calls the large elephant at the Smithsonian 'Jumbo'."
>
>Another researcher emphasized that Tedology is far from an exact
>science.  "We have just begun to quantify our findings," she said.
>"We suffered a major setback after the fedfil fiasco, but new data
>is now pouring in.  We are especially interested in how Ted will
>interact with the other Velikovskians on talk.origins, especially
>those with different styles."
>
>For example, Everett Cochrane has been involved in a discussion of
>orbital dynamics, and Ted has recently contributed some posts.  "That
>itself was a bit of a surprise," the researcher commented.  "Orbital
>dynamics is not one of Ted's recognized topics.  Several people who
>had theorized that Ted's list of topics was fixed, or even that he
>was some sort of automated post daemon, were a bit embarrassed!"
>
>Of greater interest is the next Context Shift.  "If Ted gets involved
>in this topic, he will eventually want to do a Context Shift -- he
>_always_ changes the topic after being thoroughly trounced in the
>discussion.  But Cochrane is entirely different in that respect, and
>never seems to change topic.  How will they interact?  Will Ted break
>away from the discussion as in a normal Shift, or will Cochrane's
>presence change the mechanism?  A couple of interesting theories have
>been proposed, but we need data to support one or the other."
>
>The researcher paused briefly, struck by a thought.  "Really, when
>you think about it that's exactly what differentiates science from
>what Ted does."
>
>
>************** END *************** END *************** END ************
>
>--
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