Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 03:55:49 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Re: Profanity Found in TV Wrestling
Status: R

kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) says:

Thanks to the Associated Press, we can enrich our drab little lives by
reading David Bauder's exciting wire-service article:

"AP / DAVID BAUDER, AP Television Writer" (C-ap@clari.net) wrote:
>
>         NEW YORK (AP) -- A popular two-hour wrestling show on cable  
> television averages only 36 minutes of actual wrestling -- leaving 
> plenty of time for crotch grabbing, obscene gestures and simulated 
> sexual activity, according to a study. 

Wait... are you saying the study showed there WAS "actual wrestling" in it?

>         A detailed Indiana University study of 50 ``WWF Raw'' episodes  
> last year on the USA network turned up a staggering amount of 
> profane or risque incidents. 

Oh, yeah, this is so much better than that OTHER, SUPERFICIAL study.

>         For instance, researchers counted 1,658 instances of a character  
> grabbing or pointing to their own crotch -- or roughly eight every 
> half hour, not counting slow-motion instant replays. 

So let's see.  For a fifty-million dollar research grant you can count
1,658 crotches.

Has the government considered de-funding these university studies when
there are plenty of insane homeless people who will count crotches FOR FREE?

>         ``I could see where an adult would be very concerned with the  
> frequency at which these behaviors were aired, particularly at this 
> time of day,'' said Walter Gantz, professor at Indiana's Department 
> of Telecommunications. 

But it teaches kids to count.  At least to 1,658.

>         For the past year, wrestling programs on USA or TNT have  
> consistently been among the highest-rated shows each week on basic 
> cable. But they're far from the goofy fun of the old days. 

YEAH IT'S RUINING PRO WRESTLING NOW THAT THEY FAKE EVERYTHING AND
JUST PRETEND TO GRAB THEIR CROTCHES!!!

>         The syndicated news show ``Inside Edition'' commissioned the  
> Indiana University study for a two-part report airing this week. 
> Reporter Matt Meagher said he became interested in looking at 
> wrestling when his wife, a middle school teacher, told him about 
> her students imitating the behavior seen on the shows. 
>         Researchers counted 157 instances of wrestlers or audience  
> members making an obscene gesture and 434 times when people either 
> said a sexually charged slogan or displayed one on a sign. 

Just out of curiosity, did Professor Brainiac Q. Doubledome McSquared
consider that maybe, just maybe, there are also OTHER reasons that
pro wrestling is a bad TV show for eight-year-olds?

>         There were 128 episodes of simulated sexual activity and 47  
> references to Satanic activity. One segment featured people 
> supposedly draining blood from a ``dead'' wrestler and drinking it, 
> Gantz said. 

FAKE SATANISM IS MORE EVIL THAN REAL SATANISM!!!

>         There were also 609 instances of wrestlers or other being struck  
> by objects like garbage cans or nightsticks. 

THAT'S MUCH WORSE THAN HAVING A 300-POUND GUY NOT HOLDING A NIGHTSTICK
JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON YOUR ADAM'S APPLE!

Hey, the wrestler's Adam's Apples are fake, too!

>         ``Somehow they managed not to hurt each other,'' Gantz said.  
> ``I'm not certain that a 10-year-old realizes that they are skilled 
> at doing this.'' 

I'm sure a ten-year-old would be much smarter than the average
American TV viewer.  I mean, GROWNUPS watched "Knight Rider".

>         Jim Byrne, senior vice president of marketing for the World  
> Wrestling Federation, said they were ``responsible broadcasters.'' 
> WWF places a parental warning on ``WWF Raw'' and provides calmer 
> programs during hours when children are more likely to watch, he 
> said. 
>         ``WWF Raw'' has plots like those in ``NYPD Blue'' and ``Beverly  
> Hills 90210,'' he said. 

RIGHT... THIS... MINUTE... Somehere, Ben Stiller is switching sideburns!

I'm sorry, nobody remembers those two shows that aired between the one
about the four jerks living in a guy's head and that one with just
Sam Kinison living in a guy's head.

>         ``The fans are tuning in for the story lines and the fact that  
> we are somewhat edgy makes it more attractive,'' he said. 

Men everywhere are turned on by pinking shears.  And Julie Brown.

I'M SORRY I'VE SEEN MORE FOX TV SHOWS THAN YOU!  I AM REALLY REALLY SORRY!

>         A USA network representative had no immediate comment on the  
> study. 

I would just like to point out that "Knight Rider" and the wrestling show
are not on Fox.  Life-skills tip:  More than one network shows crap!

> -=-=-    
>                            AP NEWS
>                The Associated Press News Service
>              Copyright 1998 by The Associated Press
>                       All Rights Reserved
> 
> The information contained in the AP News report may not be published,  
> broadcast or redistributed without the prior written authority of 
> The Associated Press. 

I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to not give me written authority without
asking for my written permission.

                                                         -- K.

                                                         I hereby give you
                                                         written permission
                                                         to HAVE A NICE DAY!