From: David Pacheco <david_pacheco@lineone.net>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: Behold the power of cheez.
Date: Wed, 12 Apr 2000 23:36:38 +0100
Organization: NO CARRIER
X-No-Yes: No

requiem@nemonet.com said:
> Does anybody else have a story in which they do something immensely
> trivial and simple, with an astoundingly large reward in return?

Why yes.  Yes I do.

Once I bent over to pick up a quarter, and lost my virginity.

THE ENB!

No, wait, there's more.

And now!  It's time for!

       WHO!


         WANTS!

 
            TO!

 
              BE!


                 A!


                  KIBOLOGIST!

 
                      I mean KIBOLOGIST?


Answer the following questions in the correct order to win the 
grand prize: a chipmunk covered in mayonnaise!  If you answer 
them in the incorrect order, time may reverse its flow!  And then 
when your boss says "I need this by YESTERDAY" you'll have plenty 
of time to finish!


For $100:  Who did Kibo defeat in the battle of Notre Dame Sans 
Coulottes, by seeding clouds with powdered Rohypnol?

   A. Fran Drescher                  C. Richard Hoagland
   B. Leo Sayer                      D. Corbin Bernsen


For $200: Do Kibologists dream of...

   A. Electric sheep                 C. Cheap electronics
   B. Inflatable sheep               D. Electric cheese


For $400: When you meet a Kibologist for the first time, 
etiquette demands that you:

   A. Genuflect                      C. Genuneeze
   B. Sneeze                         D. Sneezuflect


For $800:  When in the presence of a Kibologist, you should 
*never* mention:

   A. Censorship                     C. The Bering Strait
   B. Aborting politicians           D. John Paul II


For $1,000: The highest rank that a human can attain in the 
Church of Kibology is:

   A. Pope                           C. Jagermeister
   B. Senator                        D. Imperial Stormpooper


For $2,000: Upon becoming an officially recognized Kibologist, 
the following acronym can be added after your name on business 
cards and stationery:

   A. YHBT                           C. MXYZPTLK
   B. FOAD                           D. Ph.Duh.


For $4,000: During the six-week meditation period during which he 
became an enlightened Kibological Master, Kibo was:

 A. Locked in a closet                 C. In a clothes drier
 B. In an overhead compartment on      D. Out on bail
    American Airlines flight 2203


For $8,000: Kibologists consider the following item a delicacy:

   A. Human brains           C. Their own saliva
   B. Posh Spice             D. The Dilberito meatless burrito


For $16,000: This question has how many possible answers?

   A. Two                            C. Seven
   B. Three                          D. Seven and a half


For $32,000: Milk is to cow as Kibo is to ____________:

  A. The IKEA catalog          C. Zip-Loc bags
  B. Brainerd, Minnesota       D. The Dilberito Meatless Burrito


For $64,000: Kibology was created on:

  A. March 16, 1972                  C. A whim
  B. Paper or plastic                D. Fire


For $128,000: The following is considered heretical by the Elders 
of the Church of Kibology:

 A. 'Baby Geniuses'                      C. Ontogeny
 B. The Second Law of Thermodynamics     D. Phylogeny


For $250,000: According to the KiBible, on the third day Kibo 
created ennui.  What did He create on the fourth day?

  A. Neanderthal Puppy      C. The Van de Steffi Graaff generator
  B. CD-RW                  D. Free will with purchase


For $500,000: Which of the following has *not* appeared in any of 
the questions so far?

  A. Senator Sneezuflect            C. Ontosneezy 
  B. The Dilberito meatless         D. Inflatable duh.
     Fran Drescher


For ONE MILLION DOLLARS!  The Church of Kibology requires that 
all Kibologists donate 99% of their yearly income to the Church, 
but only if said income is OVER:

  A. $1                             C. $3
  B. $2                             D. $1,000,000


Is that your final answer?  I SAID, IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER?


                     YOU WIN!  AND LOSE!


-dp.
Have a chipmunk.
They're good frozen.