Path: news.utk.edu!news!newsfeed.utk.edu!feed2.onemain.com!feed1.onemain.com!newsfeed.direct.ca!look.ca!news.he.net!sn-xit-03!sn-post-01!supernews.com!corp.supernews.com!not-for-mail From: fleabite@seanet.com (Lleah) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Astrology: Tool of Satan? Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2000 02:16:24 GMT Organization: pleb Message-ID: <39dbdf8c.2602568@supernews.seanet.com> Reply-To: leahv@seanet.com References: <8FC353B8Abritter@63.209.170.216> <8rg2kp$hsn0v$1@ID-40152.news.cis.dfn.de> X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.21/32.243 X-Complaints-To: newsabuse@supernews.com Lines: 65 Xref: news.utk.edu alt.religion.kibology:30465 On Wed, 4 Oct 2000 13:06:58 -0700, "Bob Flaminio" wrote: >1. Explain why your god's only son had to die so we can go to magic >happy land when we croak. And lo, He said to them "Please pass the bacon" and they did and it was savory. >2. Did everyone who died before Jesus died go to Hell? Justify your >answer. And He did swoop forth in His zeppelin, annointing the masses with Orbitz. It was a holy time. > >3. If a Catholic, justify the Inquisition and other persecutions of >"heretics" throughout It was on the twelfth day of the ninth month that the moon did erupt in fire and destruction. And He spoke of a better time to come, and there would be Pez for all humanity. >4. Explain why your sect (whether Catholic, Protestant, or And He showed them electricity. And He showed them trains of infinity. And He led them to marvel greatly at Big Dig Propeganda. And it was on this day that He gathered up these things and placed them in a canister of bees and did neatly print a label thereon called "SCIENCE". > >5. Explain why your sect (whether Catholic, And lo, in the Incorrectly Explored Areas of Kibonia, He did hold a supper of Great Importance. And a mighty feast was lain before them. And as they sat around the Giant H, they were presented with the finest durian. And He did present Orbitz. And He did present canned chili. And He did present mushy okra. And he gestured wildly to these things and did say to them: I dare you to eat these things. And they wept. It was a holy time. > >6. Explain why There was a time when the holy internet was black. And it was a sad time. And He had left them. Fields of porn did perish. Houses of science did collapse. And this was the time of false profits. And into the next season He did return! And there was much rejoicing! And they did bring firey clowns! And they did present Him with gifts of the finest blue food! And they gave to Him poorly made cinematics and also Cherry Pez. It was again a holy time. BEABLE.