Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 02:37:46 -0400
Subject: Re: Technical support quote of the day... (REPOST)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Status: R

Kibo wrote:

[I posted this August 6th, but it apparently didn't escape from here,
so I'm posting it again...]

>From a well-known computer maker's online knowledge base:

> In some cases, an unusual odor may be detected when a product has been
> turned on and allowed to warm up to operating temperature.

Translation:  Joe dropped part of his cheese sandwich while the computers
were whizzing past on the assembly line.

> Typically, the odor is detected when the product is new,

Translation:  You'd have to be pretty freakin' stupid to only notice it
after you've had the smelly computer for six months.

> similar to odors generated from new carpeting or a new car. In most cases
> the odor will dissipate over a short period of time.

Translation:  In most, BUT NOT ALL cases, the odor will dissipate over
a short period of time.  Relative to the age of the universe.

> If the odor persists, we recommend that you place the unit in a
> well-ventilated room

Translation:  PUT THE THING SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU WON'T SMELL IT, YOU BOZO!

> and allow the unit to operate over an extended period of time (possibly
> 24-72 hours) or until the odor dissipates. If the odor persists, contact
> your local Service Provider for an evaluation.

"Hi, this is tech support, how many I help you?"

"My new computer smells like THIS--" (holds computer up to phone)

> This article is not tied to any specific product, nor is it in reaction to
> any specific issue.

Translation:  We'd like you to believe we wrote this article by accident
and not in response to a complaint that our computers smell like cheese.
Also, not many of our computers smell like cheese.

> This article is meant only to serve as general information.

Translation:  The Psychic Friends Network is for entertainment purposes only.
$3.99 per minute.  Tech support is provided by The Psychic Friends Network.

                                        -- K.

                                        That's what they get for naming this
                                        year's models "Blueberry", "Grape",
                                        "Tangerine", and "Rotting Flesh".