Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 12:33:42 -0400
Subject: Re: Kibo Is...
Status: RO

In alt.religion.kibology, kibo@world.std.com wrote:

"Lleah" (leahverre@attbi.com) wrote:
>  
>  Also, Kibo's imaginary grocery store smells like raccoon poop.

Leah, you've been comparison-shopping while drunk on DeKuyper's
Watermelon Pucker Schnapps again.  You wandered into Mei Tung, 
or possibly travelled back in time to the Calumet Market before
it got torn down to put in a crater, because those markets smell
or smelled like many varieties of non-food poop.  Kibo's Imaginary
Supermarket (not an imaginary grocery store, an imaginary supermarket)
does not sell raccoon poop, artificial watermelon-bubble-gum-flavored
liqour, or T-shirts that say "Kibo's imaginary grocery store smells
like raccoon poop."  My supermarket does, however, sell everything
that is good and wonderful, and every day we offer free samples of
a different snack treat available only in Kibo's Imaginary Supermarket,
such as Kibo's Potato Chips Without Watermelon Flavor, Kibo's Hamburgers
Without Watermelon Flavor, and our specialty, Kibo's No Watermelons,
which are crystal-clear plastic shells shaped like the shape a watermelon
would fit into if there is a watermelon there which there isn't, we
guarantee it.  An advanced system of robotic laser drones keeps
watermelons from sneaking into Kibo's Imaginary Supermarket, and
any watermelons spotted are loading into a giant cannon and fired
directly into the core of the Sun, which will hopefully destroy them.

Also, I do not let raccoons or any other sort of rodent to poop
in my imaginary supermarket.  That's just one of the many things
that makes Kibo's Imaginary Supermarket better than Mei Tung,
another being that my imaginary supermarket sells only food less
than ten years old.  Plus my market's better than the Calumet Market
because it's not a big crater with dynamite exploding in it.
I offer convenient dynamite delivery to your home, but you can't
set it off while you're still in the market.  That would be bad
for business, because people wouldn't be able to hear the happy Muzak.

                                -- K.

                                   Leah's Imaginary Supermarket
                                   may have aisles a thousand feet long,
                                   but they're only six inches wide
                                   towards the back.  Many sad shoppers
                                   are permanently wedged in between
                                   the Weetabix and the insect-infested
                                   cereal Leah imports from New Zealand,
                                   Wetabix.