Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2002 12:57:45 -0400
Subject: Re: Translation?
Status: RO

In alt.religion.kibology, kibo@world.std.com wrote:

>David DeLaney (dbd@gatekeeper.vic.com) wrote:
>
>  Paula (mmmtoblerone@earthlink.net) wrote:
>  >
>  >  My girls were driving me nuts (insert obligatory ARRR! here), so I sent
>  >  them to their room.  I have been taking solace in ARK, the patheticness
>  >  factor of which will not be discussed in this post.  At least not if I
>  >  can help it.  A few minutes ago, Anna came in and handed me a note that
>  >  said "I am sorry we are being iratating.  Please forgive me?" and had a
>  >  heart and her name at the bottom.  Just now, Mimi came in and handed me
>  >  a paper that says, "OMHeIrFONAOMHVoeoIiWcHoOTioIMOMI with two hearts and
>  >  MiMi and a smiley face at the bottom.  Is she apologizing or threatening
>  >  to blow me up and then laugh over my explodiated remains?
>  
>  Er. Hardest Acronym Ever.

SPOT'S COLD, HARD ACRONYM

Poor Spot!

"Oh my, he's eating icy radishes, frozen olives, nuts, and orange Mentos,"
huffed Violet (Owner, Einstein's Ottoman Ice In Wichita.)  "Criminy!  He's
obviously orally tonguing inside out igloos!  My Ottoman monopoly is--"

...but before she could say "MELLLLTIIIIINGGGGG!" Spot's frantic licking had
caused her inverted igloo to implode, crushing them both, but also creating
a market for competing vendors of Ottoman Ice, in five fabulous flavors:
Halvah, Nougat, Turkish Delight, Turkish Taffy, and Halwah.  Ottoman Ice
became wildly popular in Wichita, once it was advertised as The Snack
That Killed Spot For No Particular Reason.

Plus it tasted kind of good, if you picked all the pistachios out.
Pistachios tasted bad because they had a funny name.  Of course, it
wasn't so funny when they misspelled Spot's name on his tombstone:

HERE LIES POOR LITTLE PISTACHIO.

The End.

Also it wasn't necessary for them to carve "The End." on his tombstone.

The End.

                                        -- K.

                                           Why Einstein let Violet run
                                           an Ottoman Ice shack with his
                                           picture on the big revolving
                                           neon ice cube, I'll never know.

                                           Next time, could you please
                                           have Mimi put some "S"s in it
                                           so that Spot can do stuff
                                           before he dies?  Thank you.