Article 155975 of alt.religion.kibology:
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: Spot
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 8121 centons, 98 microns, 0.003 abians
Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself)
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 1998 05:02:07 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
X-Newsreader: Archimedes Plutonium's Electric Velcro

"The Avocado Avenger" (stacia@io.com) wrote:
>
> Chris McGonnell (smeagol@key-net.net) writes:
> >
> > Okay, Kibo, you got 24 hours to post Spot's Hmas story. It better have
> > Einstein or guacamole in it, or I'll sulk and just play with the empty box.
> 
>   Hear Here!  Also please include nachos and a side of refritos please.  I
> mean por favor.  Thanks you.  I mean graciases you.



    SPOT'S OTHER 1998 CHRISTMAS STORY, THE ONE THAT WASN'T WORTH POSTING

                   Copyright (C) 1998 James "Kibo" Parry

                             Written On A Dare
                             For Stacia & Chris
                     Who Weren't Too Naughty This Year


Poor Spot!  When he opened his only Christmas present, he found that
it contained nothing but guacamole!  "Waah!  I asked for nachos and
a side of refritos too!  This sucks!"  Spot flushed the guacamole down
the toilet and began waiting for Santa to bring him guacamole with
nachos and refritos NEXT Christmas.

While he was waiting, several months later, the doorbell rang.  It was
Albert Einstein!  "Who are you?" asked Spot.

"Why, Spot, I'm the world's most famous scientist, and inventor of
the flying tuba-mobile, Albert Einstein."

"No you're not!  The REAL Albert Einstein was very modest and shy and
never went door-to-door just to brag about having invented the
flying tuba-mobile!"

Einstein quickly tossed Spot into a bag and hopped into his flying
tuba-mobile.  He blew into the mouthpiece and the tuba-mobile rose
into the air with a mighty oom-pah.

When Spot was allowed out of the sack, he looked around.  He had been
abducted to a distant location, namely, the North Pole!

"HO HO HO!" yelled Santa.  "Thank you for bringing me my Christmas
present, Professor Einstein!"

Einstein blushed.  "Aw, shucks.  It was nothing.  SOMEBODY had to."

"This puppy is so young and soft and moist!  I shall put him to work
right away."

Santa placed some curly-toed green shoes on all four of Spot's paws and
put an elf hat on his head, securing the chin-strap with a heavy padlock.
Then he glued Spot to a chair at the far end of Santa's sweatshop's
assembly line.

"Waah!" cried Spot, "I can't assemble toys very well because I'm just
a dog and I'm wearing shoes on my arms!"  Santa pulled the lever which
started the conveyor belt as he used his other hand to crack a stainless
steel whip in Spot's face.  Spot immediately began to work.

Spot's task was to assemble Furbies.  There were three different colors
of eyes (blue, green, and brown) and three different colors of fur
(black, white, and brown) and three different voice pitches (irritating,
annoying, and evil) and every Furby had to be different.  After Spot
had assembled twenty-seven Furbies, he was unable to continue, and
thus was subject to Santa's fiercest punishment:  Spot was taken
to The Punishment Dome.

The Punishment Dome was four miles high, and Spot's torment would be
the merriment of the thousands of elves seated in the bleachers.
Spot had to sky-dive from the top of the dome into a small tub of water.
Santa handed Spot his parachute harness, which was made of piano wire.
And boy, was it tight!

Spot took a deep doggie breath and jumped.  On the way down, Santa
and Einstein switched the tub of water with a vat of guacamole, nachos,
and refritos.  "Hey!  This isn't going to be so bad!" said Spot,
spotting the delicious repast in the vat.  Then he saw that the
elves' tiny hands were holding tiny forks.

                                                    -- K.