Date: Fri, 21 Jun 2002 00:01:15 -0400 Subject: Re: You haven't lived... Status: RO In alt.religion.kibology, fB (spamtrap@blameit.net) wrote: John Burrage wrote: >I think he hates me now, but I like to think I strengthened the >community spirit of our household or something. WHOA! FLASHBACK! I do not think google has this one: From: frances@zenarcade.fis.unico.it (Francesco Benvenuto) Subject: IMPORTANT: MISSING TRUE SPIRIT, PLEASE HELP! Newsgroups: alt.conspiracy,alt.prospiracy,alt.discordia,alt.fan.joel-furr,alt.religion.kibology,alt.religion.kibology.orthodox,alt.religion.kibology.helvetica Summary: We lost the true spirit of Kibology. We need it back RIGHT NOW! Keywords: Harry Glass Xibo Spot et al. ================================================================= The *TRUE* spirit of Kibology. As distilled by me from posts made by those who know ================================================================= The true spirit of Kibology has been lost. It was last sighted in talk.bizarre and alt.folklore.urban, but I just looked and it was not there anymore. I would grep my newsfeed for it, but some bozo broke the Internet (film at 11) by spreading Nutella all over it. Too easy, because, in the US, the streets are paved with Nutella. Moreover somebody equated time and mass: so I have been left with very little time as matters get worse and worse. I'm pissed. Like Christianity and Communism, Kibology has fallen into the hands of power-mad pretenders, who use the form but ignore the essence. This has gone on long enough: meta-kibology is a self-referential self-parody. The reason many don't follow a.r.k. so much any more is because about six months ago, they got tired of wading through all the ridiculous fawning crap to find an occasional pearl. Kibo has now been replaced by the "Kibot" AI. Kibo was never an AI! He was a room full of infinite monkeys! Still, that is after the "Year September Never Ended" and all the "Information Superhighway Hype Explosion". In 1994 the demography of a.r.k. changed abruptly by more than 90%, and the group became a playground for c00l kids with new AOL/netcom/etc. accounts. The old meme-set was displaced. Even worse: a.r.k. has simply become yet another place for idiots to crosspost drivel to. It no longer generates any active messages itself. The kiddies masturbate with their keyboards and their idea of being part of the larger whale. Most of us are *really* alone and our insipid posts comparing our existential angst offer up a poignant, albeit saccharine, view of our whiney little lives. If JOEL FURR says it is dead, I guess it is dead: to say that the spirit of Kibology lives on in a.r.k. is to assert that Kibology has no meaning other than hassling people in other newsgroups, starting cascades and boosting your ego. Many people agree that Kibology was actually witty back then when it wasn't a trendy image-thing, and small enough to cohere. It is now not witty anymore, just w i d e. Some complain, some not. Of course we all noticed how Patrick L. Obo becomes Cngevpx Y Bob in rot13! ^^^ Consequently, what once was fresh and full of life is now nothing but a festering carcass, which, moreover, needs more salt. A.r.k. was a place with really big letters taped to the walls, but those letters are now in Helvetica Medium! And we only have one of them left! It's a big H! What does it mean? Is it a clue? Can we buy a vowel? Does it cost more? You're worrying about VOWELS when there are MONSTERS in my candy?!? There is a monster at the end of this book! See? Makes no difference at all. It makes no sense at all. Signal to noise ratio is down to zero, and we like it! Here's a sample: noise noise noise noise noise NOISE noise NOISE noise noise NOISE signal noise signal noise signal noise signal noise signal signal noise noise NOISE noise NOISE noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise throbbing gristle noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise asieoniezi noise noise noise noise signal noise signal noise signal noise signal noise signal noise signal signal noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise flame big black flame signal noise noise signal noise noise noise NOISE noise noise NOISE noise noise NOISE NOISE noise noise noise noise noise noise signal noise einsturzende neubauten noise noise noise noise noise noise NOISE NOISE NOISE noise noise noise noise noise noise noise there is no escape from noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise Notice the subtle reference to the dreaded "Big Black" flamewars, and all those little subliminal messages. Things are so bad that posts by Glass, who's not allowed, started to appear. And some CHYK started to talk with a funny val accent: "LIke OKAY like FER SHER like EYELINER you know and STUFF?!!!!!!" And nobody could remember the English word for "noisettes", until some other CHYK jumped up, broke my nose, and said: "HAZELNUTS!!" Then she teased me because I could not even breath properly. Stop making fun of me, as you stopped making sense! Is alt.religion.kibology doomed? Will it suffer an untimely death just like alt.politics.kibo and alt.exploding.kibo? Will somebody finally answer to the question of all questions? Which is better, sex or staring at static on a TV screen until your eyes burn out? Should we issue a CFV? A RFD? Should we rather telnet to port 19? Don't try this at home, kids. Should we stick warning labels over our terminals: "CAUTION: *NOT* for underwater usage"? Will "Kibot" please stop sending messages with Message-id fields: , and so on? That's not how world.std.com generates real Message-ids. Moreover is a Message-id every Kibologist *has* to know and recognize at first sight! It is in the FAQ after all! Anybody can get an account on world.std.com, whether they know it or not! Also, if you spell kibology without the L, poof, kiboogy! Having a lousy keyboard can be fun! (or was it politics/poltics?) And Kibot forgot the ObHack! (sorry, wrong newsgroup). Obviously, unlike you people, I have a taste for festering carcasses. Will I ever get a life? I checked a.r.k. for the answer, every hour. On the hour. No way. The great Seraphic Lords and Cherubim In close recess and secret conclave sat A thousand demi-god on golden seats, Frequent and full. After short silence then And summons read, the great consult began. I asked the powers that be for a new true spirit of Kibology, but James Parry, Mark and Jason Dominus, Todd McComb or Scott Ramming will not create another true spirit of Kibology for us: there can be only one! We should not have lost it in the first place: maybe we were a little careless, but we were in a hurry! I did not even had time to put my pants on! Nor anybody else! Pant pant! Now the ruthless netgods will make us eat a whole BOWL O'FUCK. Or, whilst wearing no pants, eat Nutella obtained from France. And Kibo Klub exclusivity has long been a part of a.r.k -- evidenced by the now defunct practice of flaunting Kibo numbers. But the question is: who lost the true spirit of Kibology? I gave it to that Sean Coates guy, he promised to give it back! He lied. The golden calf I have got in exchange is really nice, though. It makes a great argument of conversation with friends and visitors. I literally a d o r e it. It looks real nice on my mantelpiece. Thanks again for that, Xibo. I hope you like your new true spirit of Xibology: look in your oven mitts for a big surprise. Welcome. -- fB "" As for newbie: well, I have been lurking on Usenet since 1991, so yes, I am one. I named "noise" the directory where I archive news back then. Never felt the urge to change that name. *Long* acknowledgement list deleted. Insert your name here as you see fit. Posting delayed as my ~!@#$%^&* newsfeed has mounted its filesystem read-only AGAIN! I HATE it in all caps! ----------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: THIS DISCLAIMER IS NOT REQUIRED BY LEADER KIBO. THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE OPINIONS OF LEADER KIBO. THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT NECESSARILY DISAGREE WITH LEADER KIBO EITHER. HAVE A NICE DAY!