Date: Sun, 12 Dec 1999 13:29:39 -0500 From: "Ian A. York" To: Subject: [PH] The Return of Kevin "The" Keith ONCE AGAIN! THE MARVEL AFUniverse! two-fifty PRESENTS! Another DYNAMIC EXCITING ACTION-FILLED adventure!! Starring Fearless FIGHTER for JUSTICE! Righteousness! All that is GOOD! and Very LONG posts! Hero of the common man - KEVIN "THE" KEITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where has he BEEN? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | gathering clouds | | Gosh, I wonder | | | where Kevin has | Without | | Yes, where has been! | KEVIN, who | | that DYNAMIC, | | will PROTECT | | fearless, | | us all from evil | | SPANDEX-CLAD | | SHORT-POST PERSON? | | hero gone? puzzled | \ Who, indeed! | | | frown | \ / | | | | \ / | | | / | | small Yes, I wonder too! | | | tear \ | | | \ | and his sidekick, | | wrinkled | ARS BREVIS! | | brow | \ | | | \ | |______________________________________________________________________| Now ... read on ... for the AWFUL ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | We bring you to ... the CASTLE OF SHORT POSTS! | |______________________________________________________________________| | dark clouds vulture | | | | | | lightning bolt | | | | | | castle | | | | | | dead tree | | scorched earth | | | | moat | |______________________________________________________________________| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | gloom | | chain | | | chain | So! chain | | | You STILL | | vibranium gloom | won't STOP | | gag | TALKING, eh? | | | \ | | | door \ | | mildew | SLAM! | | | | | | evil | | spandex | sneer | | chain | | | | mold | | gloom | Yeah! chain | | | \ | | | \ | |chain bones | | |_____________________________________|_________________________________| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | chains | | | I'll NEVER | | | give in! | Bwahahahaha!! | | You've TORTURED mold | So far, FOOLISH | | me! TICKLED me! | HERO, I have but | | TEASED me! But I'll O | TOYED with you! | | NEVER let you win! O | / | | STOP TALKING! This o | / mold | | GAG is but a TEMPORARY . | | | check! My SUPERHUMAN | squinty eyes | | VERBOSITY can be SLOWED | | | but never STOPPED! | scowl | | Your NATALIE PORTMAN gloom | | | impersonator was not | | | enough! The FEATHERS |You bones | | in the ARMPITS might have | tell him, | | perturbed a LESSER BEING! | Boss! | |_NEVER,_do_you_hear_me,_NEVER_____________|________\___________________| will I ACCEDE to your EVIL ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | mold | | Can he | Yes! I see the | | Now! I bring in mean ... | FEAR in your EYES! | | the ONE THING ... O | I bring the Oh no! | | you TRULY FEAR! o | TERRIBLE TETRAD! O | | \ . | TREMBLE before the o | | \ | HELLISH . | |open \ | HARMONIES OF ... | |door | \ | | dramatic | \ gag | | triumphant gesture | \ | | leer | backlit | | | figures chain | | Word! | Hee hee! | | \ | / | | \ chain | ominous shadows | |_______________________________________|_______________________________| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | THE BARBERSHOP FOUR!!!!!! * | | | / | Great ROGET! | | / AARRGH! | Feel myself ... | | O | WEAKENING! | | Oooooh the MOOOON ... o | Must ESCAPE! | | \ . | Concentrate! | | The mooon in JOOOOON .... \ | Inflate ... | | \ | LUNGS of LARGENESS! | | (Bomp bomp bomp ...) \ | Assemble ... | | \ | SUPER-SPEECH! | | The silv'ry MOOOOOOON ... \ | Flex ... | | \ | FINGERS of TYPINESS! | | \ | O | | bones |...OOON! o | | |...SPOOOOON! . | | mold rat | ...LOOON! | | | ...unka unka unka! | |_______________________________________|_______________________________| *see ish #137! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | |..oooon-ooooff! ...ooooooooo | | | _________ ____ ____ __ __ _______ | | (_ _____) / __ \ / __ \ \ \ / / \ / | | ) (___ / / \ \ / / \ \ () \/ () \ / | | ( ___) ( () () ) ( () () ) / _ _ \ ) ( | | ) ( ( () () ) ( () () ) / / \/ \ \ \_/ | | ( ) \ \__/ / \ \__/ / /_/ \_\ _ | | \_/ \____/ \____/ (/ \) (_) | | ...oooonnnnn | | | ..unkaAAARRGH! | |______________________________________________________________________| ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | I'm FREE AGAIN! | |Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher an| |d Wattmann of a personal God quaquaquaqua with white beard quaquaquaqu| |a outside time without extension who from the heights of divine apathi| |a divine athambia divine aphasia loves us dearly with some exceptions | |for reasons unknown but time will tell and suffers like the divine Mir| |anda with those who for reasons unknown but time will tell are plunged| |in torment plunged in fire whose fire flames if that continues and who| |can doubt it will fire the firmament that is to say blast hell to heav| |en so blue still and calm so calm with a calm which even though interm| |ittent is better than nothing but not so fast and considering what is | |more that as a result of the labors left unfinished crowned by the Aca| |cacacademy of Anthropopopometry of Essy-in-Possy of Testew and Cunard | |it is established beyond all doubt all other doubt than that which cli| |ngs to the labors of men that as a result of the labors unfinished of | |Testew and Cunard it is established as hereinafter but not so fast for| |reasons unknown that as a result of the public works of Puncher and Wa| |ttmann it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors o| |f Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown of Testew and| |Cunard left unfinished it is established what many deny that man in Po| |ssy of Testew and Cunard that man in Essy that man in short that man i| |______________________________________________________________________| Thus did the TITAN IN TIGHTS .... vanquish the NOISE OF NAUGHTINESS! and return to the HATS LIST!!!!!!!!!!! and remember .... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ | birds | | | | fluffy clouds | | | | Look both WAYS ... | | before you cross | | the STREET!!!!!! | | \ | | \ earnest | | green gaze | | tree | | spandex | | | | | | | | bunny | | flowers | | | |______________________________________________________________________| -- Ian York (iayork@panix.com) "-but as he was a York, I am rather inclined to suppose him a very respectable Man." -Jane Austen, The History of England