Date: Wed, 4 Aug 1999 02:53:40 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Re: Today On Your TV In The USA. Status: R kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) says: Nick S Bensema (nickb@primenet.com) wrote: > Well I'm pretty sure I mentioned the identical nephews. I think I > remember there being four of them, one of them being named Poopeye. Yes, you may have MENTIONED them, but Stephen Will Tanner USED them, to draw Douglas Hofstadter's "use-mention" line down the middle of the room between the Ralph Malph Of Mention and the Potsie Of Use. Here's the incinerating evidence. It took six VERY soft tacos and a grape Nehi to even find this post. -- K. ////////// rerun ////// rerun ////// rerun ////// rerun ////// rerun ////////// From: Stephen Tanner (tanner@aros.net) Subject: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Organization: ArosNet Inc. Date: Fri, 27 Jun 1997 08:59:59 GMT On Thu, 26 Jun 1997 16:28:59 -0500, jaffo@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote: > > I feel a lot of love in this newsgroup right now. > > GROUP HUG! We should do trust falls as well. Catch meeeeeee e e e e e e e e e e e e e [continued in followup] > Sometimes, Kibo does not know his own strength. I'm sure it frightens him > sometimes. Especially when Matt says "That trick NEVER works!" and Kibo reaches into the Cub Scout hat and a roaring Davey Jones head comes out and gets hit in the face with tofu, followed by a larger chunk of tofu. Then the Cartoon Network shows all ten of the Popeye-tries- to-sleep-while-his-nephews-play-music cartoons, followed by all twenty of the alternative-Little-Red-Riding-Hood Tex Avery cartoons, and all fifty of the Two Stupid Dogs episodes about spit. And then it's time for... SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST! Space Ghost: Our first guest is Dr. Karl Sieger, founder of the Gravitational Engineering Institute in 2053. Zorak: What? Moltar: [sings along with the Flintstones] Let the sun...shine...in... Space Ghost: The famous Gravitational Engineer! Inventor of the Woxwox Drive! Zorak: That hasn't happened yet. [Monitor lowers. Thirtysomething woman in a yellow blouse looks out] Zorak: Nice one, Tad. Space Ghost: Wait! If we're too early, then...Karl must be just a twinkle in his mother's eye! [Camera zooms waaaaaaay in on woman's eyeball. Cheap computer-generated twinkle sparkles in the corner] High voice: Hello! Space! Ghost! Moltar: [singing along] So open up your heart and let the sun...shine...in... ----------- IT TOOK SIX SOFT TACOS AND A GRAPE CRUSH TO FUND EVEN THIS POST. Remember, posts like these are transmitted to computers around the world at a cost of only hundreds of thousands of dollars. Please help us...to help you! It is the underwear of the underwriters which lets us provide you with your favorite threads week after week! We need your support, and your support bras! Staple those used panties to a postcard, and send them to 1234 Stephanie, Las Vegas, NV. Or call us, and one of our operators will take the call--possibly one of the incurably photogenic ones you can see behind me! Maybe even the girl who gazes, tirelessly and forever, off the pages of every MacWarehouse ad ever in print? Maybe so. >:I *dare* you to say "pants". You folks won't do it. You don't have the guts. >:YOU'RE TOO CHICKEN TO SAY PANTS TO KIBO! Ha! I just powered up my characters and finished Final Fantasy VII. I could take a bullet right now. And then I went over to my friend's house, and played Twisted Metal 2, and blew up his cousins. After playing the game, I mean. And now I will get it all OUT OF MY SYSTEM with one mighty yawping cheese-and-tofu-flavored primal scream, after which I will pants no more forever: PPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [stock footage of Death star exploding] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [montage of sobbing women from Bergman films] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN [Tibetan monks set fire to themselves. The Dow drops 50 points in heavy trading. Five hundred video tapes, left in the back seats of Volvos, warp and twist in the sunlight.] NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN [In a thousand elementary schools, chalk squeaks on the blackboard. Ted Turner releases the colorized version of Clerks with a new happier ending. Seinfeld is pre-empted for a special news report--nine months later, the birth rate soars.] NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS [A secretary in Des Moines flubs the punch line of a joke. Overprotective aunts mourn the lost art of conversation. Ceanu Reeves comes dangerously close to displaying an emotion.] SSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [A factory in Detroit pumps poison gas into new tennis balls. A gen-xer makes a bungee jump on a cord which is a little bungier than it should be, and shows his buddies what he's made of...literally. A janitor falls asleep inside a particle accelerator, and soon his component molecules are taking separate vacations] !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Somewhere, a Tamagotchi cries out...and dies] Ok, I'm done. Now someone post something about current events. This is where I get all my news. You think I'm kidding. It's you guys or Letterman. And he spends too much time schmoozing with guests and turning a can into a van.