Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 12:30:35 -0400
Subject: Re: Instant Review: Vanilla Coke
Status: RO

In alt.religion.kibology, kibo@world.std.com wrote:

Andrew Pearson (apearson@pt.lu) wrote:
>  Otto Bahn (MyEmailBorked@AOL.com) wrote:
>  >  Paula (mmmtoblerone@earthlink.net) wrote:
>  >  >  Rid (sbl@ihug.co.nz) wrote:
>  >  >  >  James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
>  >  >  >  >  [...] there's also a lemon Coke nobody's drinking.
>  >  >  >  Nobody is drinking it because it's added to DIET Coke.
>  >  >  >  I mean for the love of all that is good and pure, bacon
>  >  >  >  for example. If any cola beverage should be expunged from
>  >  >  >  existance it should be DIET coke. 
>  >  >  WATCH IT!  I am drinking diet coke rite now.  Some of us only
>  >  >  like our men and our candy as sweet as regular soft drinks.
>  > Bittersweet...?
>  > --oTTo--
>  >  Ginger is the root of all evil
>  Or G (acid-sweet) according to Abbé Poncelet, the inventor of the orgue
>  des saveurs. ("He arranged his scale thus:-- Acidity stood for C;
>  insipidity for D; sweetness E; bitterness, F; acid-sweet, G; harshness
>  A; pungency, B".) <- that's end quote, full-stop, close brackets and not
>  a smiley representing Picasso's portrait of Hitler.

After Hitler hung Picasso's portrait of him in that Exhibition Of
Degenerative Art, which was like a regular avant-garde museum except
for the big banner saying "I AM ONLY HANGING THESE PAINTINGS HERE
BECAUSE I HATE THEM, SINCERELY, THE CURATOR, WHO IS HITLER", Picasso
got revenge by hanging Hitler's portrait of Picasso in Toronto's
Bata Shoe Museum under a big banner saying "MUSEUM OF SHOES AND ALSO
THAT HITLER GUY WHO ISN'T AS IMPORTANT AS THESE SHOES" but it didn't
really matter because Hitler typed his Picasso picture on the typewriter
used by the imaginary version of Ezra Pound in Vonnegut's "Mother Night"
so he had to find a way to work the "SS" logo into Picasso's face
and everyone thought it was a picture of two Harry Potters.

>  I remain convinced that the orgue des saveurs will enjoy a resurgence
>  in popularity at the hands of kibologists [...]

Kibologists resurge with their hands, not their brains.  In any case,
I divide all my food up into "glop", "crunch", and "thud".  Plus I
photograph it before I start eating it, so that if I forget what it
is when I'm half done, I can check the photo.  "Oh!  This was a turkey!"

>  Ginger. Root. HAW HAW I geddit.

Steven Root _is_ Ginger in "Gilligan's Island: The Drag Version"!
Andy Dick _is_ Mary Ann!  Phil Hartman _is_ Mrs. Howell!  Dave Foley _is_
Barbara Bain!  And Picasso Hitler _is_ a team of basketball-playing robots!

>  -- 
>  It does not have silicone bosom and a not straight wespentaille, which
>  concerns scandals and affairs, actually also holds back itself it. And
>  nevertheless it is a superstar. For 25 years the small impudent bee Maja
>  schwirrt over the picture monitor, millions of children bebeistert,
>  brings  with their disarm-naive nature the large ones to swarms.

I hope the peanut gallery will forgive me for explaining something someone
else wrote, but I have to point out that this is the worst crossover story
about a Gummikrankenschwester wandering onto the set of that "Space: 1999"
episode where Maya turned into a bee so that she could fly around inside
the brain of David Prowse wearing a gorilla suit with a frog head.
Although the idea of a Gummikrankenschwester encountering Maya is
intriguing, one can't help but wonder if this wouldn't be too silly,
especially given that Maya has a row of lentils glued to her face where
her eyebrows should be, and her sideburns are just painted on, and her
ears are spray-painted brown because they count as part of her pretend
sideburns, and David Prowse's monster suit was less realistic looking than
Picasso Hitler's picture of Hitler Picasso's picture of Dave Foley Barbara Bain.
This caused David Prowse such embarassment that after George Lucas cast him
in "Star Wars", Mr. Prowse said, "George, I'd like to play this role with a
mask of some sort to hide my shameful face," and "Star Wars" was ruined
because you could no tell whether or not Darth Vader was evil because
you couldn't see his face.

                                    -- K.

                                       P.S.  Does this have something
                                       to do with the fact that my
                                       computer just played the "Meow Mix"
                                       jingle without asking me?