Article 170932 of alt.religion.kibology:
From: "Lt. Wilkes" <ltwilkes@ix.netcom.com>
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack,alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: New Product Idea
Date: Mon, 4 Oct 1999 17:43:27 -0600

[The original post under this header, now scrolled off the top, was also from
Lt. Wilkes, and consisted simply of the line
"Pokemon Tampons". Nick replied...]

Nick Bensema wrote in message <7t4433$6c7$1@hiram.io.com>...
>NightMist <NM@madbbs.com> wrote:
>>Somehow the thought of pickachu tucked up there gives me the shudders.
>>
>Then what about the thought of a little yellow lightning-bolt hanging
>out of there?

Jessie:  "You're not going to spoil our plans THIS time you little twerp."

Ash:  "Pikachu!  Tackle attack!"

Pikachu:  <rushing forward>  PIIIII-KAAAAA-  *RIP*  *plunge*

Jessie:  <very surprised>  "Oh!"  <slightly panicked>  "OH!"

James:  <very concerned and frightened>  "Juh-juh-juh-Jessie?  Did he
just..."

Jessie:  <wincing, sweating profusely>  "Uh huh!"

Pikachu:  <very, very muffled>  "pibaju?"

Ash:  "HEY!  WHAT ARE DOING WITH MY PIKACHU?"

Pikachu:  <still muffled>  "piba?"

Jessie:  "Oh no!  He's gonna shock me."

Pikachu:  "piba?"

Jessie:  "He's gonna shock me!"

Pikachu:  "piba?"

Jessie:  "HE'S GONNA SHOCK MEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly the loud, electrical "*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT*" sound can be heard,
Jessie starts convulsing in ways that have never been seen before, and the
little tail hanging out of...well, you know...is whipping around all over
the place.  Finally, she drops to the ground in a heap and Pikachu
is...well...expelled.  Jessie then barely manages to sit up.

Jessie:  <very woozy>  "I...I've never felt anything like that before."

The scene switches over to Pikachu.  Pikachu has a VERY confused and
befuddled expression.  A little bit of glop is dripping off one of its
downturned ears.

Pikachu:  <thousand yard stare>  "Pi...Ka?"

Ash:  <running over>  "Pikachu!  You're O.K."

Ash then gives Pikachu a big hug, but then he notices quite a bit of
stickyness.  Ash then screams in horror and disgust (tongue hanging out, of
course), and falls down to the ground with his legs in the air.

Jessie:  <recovering a bit>  "Ash, you wonderful, WONDERFUL little man!
I've completely underestimated you!"

Ash:  "Huh?"

Pikachu:  "Pika?"  <still dripping>

Jessie:  <crawling forward slowly and lustily>  "I see you in a whole new
light now.  Why don't you come over here and bring that naughty, NAUGHTY
little Pikachu with you."

Ash:  "AAAARRRRGH!"  <runs away>

Pikachu:  <panicking, waving arms, flinging glop>
"PIKA-PIKA-PIKA-PIKA-PIKA!!!!!"  <runs after Ash>

Jessie:  <using her sing-song voice>  "You can't resist me forever.  I'm
going to catch you."  <starts chasing Ash and Pikachu>

James:  "JESSIE!  DON'T LEEEEAVE ME!"  <runs after Jessie>

                                                Sincerely,
                                                Lieutenant Wilkes