Article 170848 of alt.religion.kibology: Newsgroups: sci.physics.relativity,alt.religion.kibology Path: utk.edu!washdc3-snf1!washdc3-snh1.gtei.net!crtntx1-snh1.gtei.net!denver-news-feed1.bbnplanet.com!news.gtei.net!coop.net!pulsar.dimensional.com!dimensional.com!hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!newsfeed.enteract.com!newsswitch.lcs.mit.edu!world!kibo From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: Re: High Technology Used To Terrorize People Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3196 centons, 99 microns, 0.04 bozons Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself) Message-ID: X-Face: 8"g"L\_0@_U(>UXK.Z1O&I/2Z"{u:Z$yd/};V7:nDV/M9[vY5}WEW|9~k.,.1@Dt Date: Sun, 3 Oct 1999 02:57:20 GMT References: <19991002144426.28627.00000101@ng-cq1.aol.com> Nntp-Posting-Host: ppp0c034.std.com Organization: Stately Kibo Manor X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.4 Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology Lines: 248 Xref: utk.edu sci.physics.relativity:119548 alt.religion.kibology:170848 In sci.physics.relativity (and every other group with 'science' or 'physics' in its name, including alt.sex.bondage.particle-physics), "Ultra21753" (ultra21753@aol.com) wrote: > > High Technology Used To Terrorize People > > Hello, > > I'm writing this message to try to bring awareness to a very serious problem concerning a contagious brain disease I caught from Ms. Paliwoda. And > that is occurring where I live, Camden County, New Jersey (USA.) I have been to Cleveland twice, bumping into Ms. Paliwoda at the local library, which is > targeted by some kind of harassment group. This group uses the most high tech robotic simulation of Don Saklad to annoy library patrons. And Voit gym > equipment to terrorize its victim. I was told that the group is funded by real bozos, present company excluded. Archie Plutonium bought his island from fake > estate companies and/or a government agency called HUD (Housing and Urban Decay, starring Paul Newman. He has genetically-engineered his deadly popcorn to contaminate my precious bodily fluids, hughly impairing my natural sexual > Development). The group targets unwelcome neighbors in a community. It would be a bad idea for me to talk about this in public, so I will. Doesn't it > seem that neighbors with criminal records, criminal behavior, mental disorders, little sisters, broken Pez dispensers, suspenders over ill-fitting sweaters > or nonconforming attitudes could be targeted by this group. Your race and lap times will be shown on the big board of broken light bulbs, along with your > sexual orientation could also be a factor. THE END! Whoops, there's a second paragraph: > Some of the equipment that this group is in possession of is sensitive to being rubbed with ordinary household sandpaper soaked in Tabasco, > listening equipment, through wall imaging technology, and non-lethal sonic hedgehogs that keep escaping from my Sony Playstation with Dual Electroshock controllers that the doctors make me play with all day. The nice doctors like me so much that they won't allow me to have anything sharper than imaginary > weapons. In a community that has an unwelcome neighbor, this group will move to Cleveland and switch houses with Carol Paliwoda. The fire derpartment uses their massive rubber hoses to pump radioactive fireflies and assorted bees > into the closest house possible to the unwelcome neighbor. This high tech form of Parcheesi, which is almost as lame as playing dodgeball without Voit > equipment is operated in side of a house next to or across the street. Nothing comes between me and my Calvins. My Susan Calvins. The jeans that secretly replace you with a positronic robot. Of course, obviously, absolutely nil > out of the ordinary will be noticed by the victim. The group performs illegal operations and is shut down by Bill Gates firing his Blue Screen Of Death Ray, > surveillance of the victim by using listening equipment and this new through Zoo Revue, with actors dressed as giant animals with eye holes in their necks, a top-secret technology used by the East Germans to develop their Berlin > wall imaging technology. The listening equipment is the type that picks up dirt, grease, even spilled grape juice from the carpet, its whirr muffling > conversation inside a house just by pointing the device at a house. The through Zoo Revue actors are all naked inside those animal suits. I know because my TV > wall imaging system displays images of people inside a house by also pointing at them and laughing. But I am so inept that I never succeed in pointing > the device at a house. After the surveillance period is over, the group will have laughed at me for being unable to hit the broad side of the house, and to make matters worse I was aiming at Aaron Spelling's house. "Melrose Place" can > use its high tech weapons to attack and/or terrorize its victim. These weapons always occur at the end of a line so I can say whatever I want about them, and > can also be used to create symptoms of physical and/or mental disorders. THE END! Wait, come back, it's not over -- there seems to be a third paragraph: > Non-lethal sonic weapons are weapons that fire a very powerful focused sonic belch at you, often enhanced by the use of garlic and/or Cheetos. Let's do the > (sound) wave. This is not the type of sound you hear but the type you would emit if you ate lots of Cheetos dipped in horseradish sauce. Your gut will > feel in an explosion, a shock wave. The sonic wave this weapon produces will make your hair fall out, unless you are bald, in which case you will grow hair all over your body. The hair will fly onto your head from the east, and if the hair's path to your scalp is blocked, the flying space hair can > pass straight through the walls of a house without causing any damage to it. If I were to make my lines any longer, the would go off the edge of the screen. So > the sonic wave strikes a human, they could feel a severe jolt as the wave of nausea caused by a very, very, very, VERY special episode of "Melrose Place" > passes through their body. These sonic waves are called sonic bullets. The only way to destroy a sonic bullet is to cut it in half with sonic scissors. > Discovery Channel did a special called "Shoot not to Kill," which demonstrated many Ron Popeil products, including Flying Hair In A Can, between the boring parts that lasted more than sixty seconds. Ronco products are easy for people like me to use because they never use two-syllable words in the directions > their use. These weapons are targeted with this new type of imaging system that makes Bill Gates look handsome, Aaron Spelling look creative, and Superman > can see through walls of a house. The victim can be identified and targeted by evil Target department stores. And Starbucks. Soon Starbucks will have little shops everywhere, in every mall, in every parking lot, every high school, > even in a house with more that one person in it. It is important to remember that thing in Texas that's like a fort or something, it begins with "A", and > that these weapons are fried from inside of the house next door or across the street where weapons are also broasted and sometimes placed in Easy-Bake ovens that cook food almost as well as, on a hot day, just dumping the batter on the > street. No one will run up to the victim's house and fire these weapons. The people are too polite to walk on my grass while they scramble my brain. Their > weapon is out of sight and no visual sighting of it is possible. THE END! Whoops, we have a fourth paragraph to deal with: > The group plays on the victims fears. They use the information collected from in between the red blue and green dots on my TV during "Melrose Place" and sometimes the actors come to my town and put on a live show, emoting on > the surveillance stage to decide how best to use their high tech weapons just to annoy Greenpeace. I mean, that's the only reason France has nukes. This evil gang refuses to have sex with victims, except they sometimes have sex > against its victim. They use a sound projection device called "Acoustic Tilex" which makes mildew quieter. (It keeps laughing during my showers.) I should point out that I only bathe alone, not with another member of the same sex, because I am absolutely, positively not a freakin' > Heterodyne," which can project audible messages and other types of sounds at faster than the speed of a Pez dispenser. It is sad to see a dispenser massacre > its victim. A victim could be tricked into believing their living in a haunted funhouse where there are REAL fake ghosts hanging from strings, or a crazy > house, for example. If the victim is unaware of what is happening they could be stupid. THIS SENTENCE FILLS UP THE REST OF THIS LINE TWO THREE. I have been > driven insane or pushed over the edge. A child with a mental disorder could be smarter than me. And every morning they board a little bus which is > driven into an institution from this. THE END! No, no, I was wrong! There are FIVE paragraphs to delight us! > Please read the information on the web page and its links, that I listed below. I ended that line with a period just to keep Kibo from tacking on a few extra words to make me look like a bozo. I am trying to sell my case, but > I am selling nothing. This could happen to you. This group is able to get away from me because they usually don't trip over their underwear like me. I put up > with its activities because not many Americans know of this technology and/or motorized Pez dispensers, a joint venture of Bill Gates and Aaron Spelling, who > don't believe that a group would go to all the trouble to carry out this type because most fonts are made of lead and lead is heavy, and Bill owns the rights to Arial anyway. I asked for a Pez dispenser filled with spearment instead > of harassment. Please remember these people are extremist. Please feel free to finish this sentence however you choose while I peel bananas with my feet, and > post this information in any other forum. THE END!!! Except for this: > MAIN WEB PAGE: > http://members.aol.com/ultra21753/ultra.htm > EMAIL: > ultra21753@aol.com > > Thank You. And thank YOU for THE END!!! -- K. It's too bad that 21,752 AOL customers had already named themselves "Ultra". I guess the TV show "Ultra 7" is just 21,746 better than you.