Date: Sat, 27 Jan 2001 01:13:47 -0500
Subject: Re: Prophecy!
Status: R

In alt.religion.kibology, mmcirvin@world.std.com wrote:

Calling all exegetes!

I, Mathieu de Neuf-Angleterre, having been vouchsafed a glimpse of the
Yet to Be, shall record my prophecies for the remainder of the year two
thousand and one, plus a SPECIAL BONUS PROPHECY for January 2002.

My method of operation shall be as follows:

1. My prophecies shall be recorded in the form of vaguely worded verse
quatrains that scan poorly, do not rhyme, and appear TO THE UNINITIATED
to be total addle-brained gibberish.

2. I shall post all quatrains in the body of this very message, as an
indelible record of my prophetic vision; then re-post the various
quatrains throughout the year in UN-ALTERED form, during the month
for which the prophecies apply, whensoever I remember to and feel like it.

3. YOU, faithful readers, shall scour records of current events (whether
in print or electronic form) and supply your ASTOUNDING CONFIRMATIONS of
the uncanny accuracy of my prophecies.  Be sure to exercise your exegetic
creativity when interpreting my uncannily allegorical pronouncements, and
do not let minor lapses of LITERAL precision bother you!

4. MATHIEU DE NEUF-ANGLETERRE PREDICTS that Stefan Kapusniak will do this
on occasion, even if nobody else does!

5. MATHIEU DE NEUF-ANGLETERRE is not above retroactively interpreting
HIS OWN prophecies as events demand!

6. I shall collect my favorite exegeses and put them on my Web site,
possibly posting a grand summation next year.


Without further ado, I give you:


THE COMPLETE PROPHETIC QUATRAINS OF MATHIEU DE NEUF-ANGLETERRE


(February 2001)

In the year two thousand and one the second month
The cousins fail to ponder twelve of Maine;
With gravy they will cover their meat and suet,
The three shall be beneath seven and one-half.

(March 2001)

Four points of a square, between four sides
Will become four and yet nearly five:
In the third month undermine all happiness
Terror as they stare within Space Mountain.

(April 2001)

April is the thinnest month
Since going on a strictest diet of Spam(TM)
All see the fourteen ascend and become king
Over Saskatchewan, Chihuahua, and France.

(May 2001)

The hound of overclocking shall not rest
Until the turbulent one of Fate becomes restful;
The sixteen whirlpools will be struck down,
Then it will be my birthday on the twenty-seventh.

(June 2001)

>From the interstate highway shall come many
They will move against the under-Duke of Jersey
Cows laid waste, and waterfowl in confusion
The clouds will boil away, but wander not.

(July 2001)

Month seven in the two of thousands plus plus
on the red River will come sustenance
Seven thousand thousand will drink from the hose
And juggle cats until Nevada leaves.

(August 2001)

As they sleep upon the ottoman of Rhodes
The hailstorms shall wrack the one in green
Who sees the brilliant one who was shining
Run like a greyhound toward the west.

(September 2001)

In nine of ninety nine plus two
Shall nine be upon nine to heal nine;
They shall be stopped at customs and questioned,
But will have no fruit to declare.

(October 2001)

Before and after king and queen Montana
will sink beneath and drown in applesauce.
They know not how the spawn of Mars could settle
For one hundred and eighteen thousand fish.

(November 2001)

The serpent is in water and out of water;
Behind and ahead comes the king of puzzlement
Who turns upside down and says hello
They will not rest until they reach Japan.

(December 2001)

In month the last of one and two ten hundred
Will come the destruction of the one known nowhere;
Out of nothing will arise five
And elsewhere swine will walk upon two legs.

(January 2002: SPECIAL BONUS PROPHECY!)

Smaller and smaller will become that which was
Bigger than it was before it was smaller again;
The king of Sandusky, driven before his teeth,
His name shall be written upon the flying wedge.


PREPARE TO BE AMAZED!

-- 
Matt McIrvin    http://world.std.com/~mmcirvin/