From: "Ian A. York" Subject: Re: [PH] NitOTD Date: Sat, 21 Sep 2002 21:04:34 -0400 Status: RO Charles Wm. Dimmick said: > Bob Church wrote: > > >No, we must be surrounded by ducks. > > >Derek "What's that rustling sound *aaaiiieeeeeeeeeeee*" Tearne > > > The ducks have cast a horrible spell on Derek! > > Calling David D., isn't there in one of those role-playing games > a mighty duck with powers similar to those of a vorpal rabbit? Scientifiction Playhouse Presents: LORD OF THE DUCKS [Winter forest scene: Scary-looking, twisted trees, strong wind blowing branches; dim light; full moon; snowdrifts.] [A woman runs by, face contorted with terror, looking over her shoulder; her clothes are torn and ragged.] [Pause.] [A pack of ducks waddles after her, quacking menacingly.] [Pause.] [Agonized scream from woman's direction; it trails off into a horrid gurgle.] [Pause.] [Sound of ducks quacking triumphantly at the moon.] [Fade out.] [Fade in: Similar winter forest scene, wind, moon, etc. A castle is visible through the blowing snow. Far in the distance we can hear the pack quacking. POV moves in slowly toward the castle; we see a moat--not frozen, ducks are swimming on it--and enter the gates.] [CUT to throne room. Bare stone floor and walls. Empty save for a gigantic fur-clad figure seated on the throne. He is wearing a helmet in the shape of a duck's beak. He lifts his head to hear the quacking.] Lord of the Ducks: So perish all my enemies! Muahaha ha ha ha! Quack! [CUT to dungeons. Bare walls except for the odd patch of fungus. Puddles on the floor. Distant intermittent screams. POV drifts down the corridor; in rooms off the side we catch glimpses of iron maidens, whips, racks, "My First Read-Aloud Book of Ian's Screenplays," thumbscrews, etc. The screams are getting closer.] Lord of the Ducks: Muahahaha ha ha quack! Peck him, Beaky! Peck! Peck! Quack! Mua ha ha ha ha! So! You STILL won't talk, eh? Ha ha ha ha ha! Now I bring out .... the BIG duck! [Agonized, terrified scream.] [NEXT PARTS CENSORED. CONTAIN GRAPHIC SCENES OF EXTREME VIOLENCE, PECKING, NUDITY, TORTURE, RAPE, IAN'S SCREENPLAYS BEING READ ALOUD, DISEMBOWELMENT, AND GENERAL NAUGHTINESS.] [Overhead view: Winter forest, castle. Sparkles in front of the castle. View moves in; we see that the sparkles are torches, being held by townspeople. They are also waving pitchforks, holding clubs, etc. Incoherent shouting. One townsperson is holding a pack of chickens, straining at their leashes.] Townspeople: Die! DIE! Naughty terrible horrible awful man! Pluck him! Pluck him! [Rumbling sound. Townspeople stop, look up, fall silent. The castle collapses. A cloud of dust and smoke forms. For a moment it takes the shape of a gigantic, ominous duck beak; then the wind comes up and the beak dissipates.] -=-=-THE END-=-=- -- Ian York (iayork@panix.com) "-but as he was a York, I am rather inclined to suppose him a very respectable Man." -Jane Austen, The History of England