Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 20:51:09 -0400 Subject: Re: Fontly Speaking Status: R In alt.religion.kibology, dumplechan@hotmail.com (SWT) wrote: "Matt McIrvin" wrote: > "SWT" wrote: > >Anyway, for a website devoted to 20th-century fiction, I think "Fractal > >fairy tales" would be more approprate than "Fractured fairy tales". Each > >chapter of the tale would have the same form as the story entire; further > >subdivisions would be self-similar; every stick of punctuation would be > >packed with microdots of subplots, right down to the subatomic level. > > Lem's "Tale of the Three Storytelling Machines of King Genius," in > _Cyberiad_. Coming up next on 20th Century Literature Raw: LEM...VERSUS...PYNCHON! All right, boys, we expect to see a clean fight, with no blows to the subtext. And...THERE'S the starting bell! The two novelists are circling each other...and what's this? Stanislaw Lem has summoned some robots! They're creating a machine to destroy everything beginning with P! And Pynchon is on the run! Pynchon is dodging the advance of Nothing, fleeing a horrible Ende to his story! He's hiding in the swimming ool! And now he's tapping two black mana to summon a giant adenoid! He's doing some detailed computations, he's got some sort of trumpet-shaped artillery, and getting ready to LAUNCH the adenoid...but what's this? Lem is tagging his partner! Lem has tagged Tom Wolfe! And Tom is charging in! Wolfe grabs the giant adenoid, huffing and puffing, the muscles of his back flexing like a Jersey bull! It looks like that gland's days are numbered...but wait! Ray Bradbury is here! He says Wolfe stole his white suit from one of Bradbury's short stories! He's threatening legal action! He's menacing him with a suit-suit! They're arguing, there's some confusion...and Pynchon takes the opportunity to tag John Irving! NOW what is going to happen? What will become of us all? Oh, who is John Garp? Back on the field, it looks like Wolfe and Bradbury have resolved their differences. Yes! They're friends again! They're drinking electric kool-aid and dandelion wine! But wait...by the twitching of my thumbs, something angry this way comes! Irving is leading a mob of tongueless women! Bradbury is fleeing! He's taking off in a rocket! And Wolfe is retreating! He's fleeing in a psychedelic bus! And up top...yes, that's Ken Kesey on top of the bus, waving a severed arm! A severed arm that is giving John Irving the finger! But Irving is ready for them! He's got a gaggle of runny-nosed orphans! They're dragging the bus into the school assembly hall! And he's...oh, no! He's got a movie projector in there! He's forcing Wolfe to watch Bonfire of the Vanities! Oh, the humanity! Pynchon is running in to assist his partner...but what's this? They've remade Vineland as a bonus level in Donkey Kong 64! This is the worst book-to-video-game bastardization since the John Galt Line scenario in Railroad Tycoon II! But meanwhile, Bradbury's rocket overshot Area 51, and it's landed next door in Lot 49! Pynchon is running to put out the flames! And Wolfe is looking at the adenoid stains on his white suit and crying! He's trying to be stoic, but he just doesn't have the right stuff! And Irving is pumping his fist in the air and shouting "YES! Cider house RULES!" But Lem is back! He's writing scathing reviews of books that Irving hasn't even WRITTEN yet! And there's an incredible skirmish, all is chaos and noise, and when the dust finally clears, the literary champion is... BEETLEBOMB!