Article 26179 of alt.religion.kibology: Newsgroups: alt.religion.computers,alt.magick,alt.magick.chaos,alt.cyberspace,alt.culture.internet,alt.culture.usenet,alt.pagan,alt.religion.kibology From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: Re: Deity of Computers and the 'Net Organization: HappyNet Headquarters Date: Tue, 19 Apr 1994 07:05:42 GMT David DeLaney wrote: > kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) writes: > >In several groups, Daffyd wrote: > >> I wish to discuss something that has come to my attention: the fact that > >> there is no official god of the 'Net. > >> 2. Titles, if any. > > > >Most Holy Leader And Admiral Of NASA And President And Also A Client, Kibo, > >Spokesman For Earth, Keeper Of The Truss, He Who Is Tolerant Of Lactose. > >He Who May One Day Destroy The Universe By Breaking The Seven Seals Of > >His .Signature, He Who Enjoys Overcooked Bacon, He Whose Name Must Not > >Be Spoken Except In Jest, He Who Never Posts In His Underwear, He Who > >Is No Ordinary Bozo, Kibo The Benevolent, Kibo The Munificent, Kibo Of > >The Skies, Kibo Of The Seas, Kibo Of The Protozoa, Kibo Your Only Friend, > >Kibo The Terrifying. Kibo Who Never Says "Sil!", Deity To Millions And > >Doormat To None, Lover Of Television, Foe Of Artificial Flavor, Designer > >Of Carpeting Which Resists Stains, He Who Speaks His Own Name In Vain, > >He Who Can Bulk-Erase Videotapes, He Who Never Looks Down, Happy Kibo, > >Dangerous Kibo, Nifty Kibo, Super-Kibo The Atom-Powered Robot Of Doom! > > You forgot: Happy Fun Kibo. I forgot some more, too. Here is the official press release I carved into a meat loaf last night: Kibo, a new deity for the seventies, has deigned to think up a new, longer title for himself. He deserves it for if the Earth were a mustard seed in New York and the Sun were a beachball in Los Angeles, Kibo would still be more impressive than either. Mere words cannot convey how wonderful these words are: Kibo, Last Best Hope For Salvation From Boredom, Creator Of The Other Universe, Thinker-Upper Of Titles, User Of Capitalization, Tricker, Treater, Candle-Stick Maker, Master Of All Trades And Jack Of None, Dotter Of Lines, Drawer Of Diagrams, Drawer Of Socks, Miracle Of Science, Driver Of Devices, Licker Of Stamps, Whipper Of Inflation, Exploder Of Views, Waxer Of Paper, Repeater Of Things, Stealer Of Scenes, Kibo. Popper Of Flashbulbs, Operator Of The Celestial Elevator, Lord Of The Files, Voider Where Prohibited, Keeper Of Bees, Mazer Of Mice, Dropper Of Subjects, Dropper Of Names, Dropper Of Fragile Items, Catcher Of Eyes, Temporary Reliever Of The Heartbreak of Psoriasis, Spellchecker Of Nonsense, Duplicator Of Snowflakes, Leaker Of Information, Inventor Of "2000 Flushes", Jester To The Dead, Bore To The Living, Maintainer Of The Status Quo, The World's Largest Free-Roving Etheric Construct, He Who Is Self-Deprecating, He Who Can Do His Taxes Himself, Reader Of Instructions, Follower Of Serving Suggestions, Maker Of Dares, Kibo. Kibo The Effervescent. Kibo The Omniscient And Fun At Parties. Kibo Who Knows The Words To The "Twilight Zone" Theme. Kibo The Definite Article. Kibo Of The Seven Veils. Kibo Who Forgot His Appointment With Fear. Kibo Who Can Eat With Three Chopsticks. Kibo Who Can Sneeze Through Walls, He Who Can Walk Into Any Book. He Who Refused To Join Mensa, He Who Flies In Planes, He Whose Personality Profile Is A Bar Chart Of Many Colors, The Freshmaker, He Whose Blood Vessels, If Placed End To End, Would Go Around The World Three Times, He Who Wrote This, He Who Keeps His Tires Properly Inflated, He Of The Properly-Fitting Fedora, He Who Is Critical Of Ebert, Lesser Of Two Evils, Mighty Warrior, Live Grenade, International Ninja, Super Spy, And Mass-Transit User, Deity By Default, Kibo, The Restless One, The Gallant One, The Other One, The One Who Tries Harder, The Dune Roller, The Reclosable Klein Bottle, The Forgotten "Star Trek" Character, The Fourth Stooge, Kibo Who Art Stronger Than Dirt, Eradicator Of Ink, Kibo Who Needs No Lessons, He Who Asks No Questions But Gets Many Answers. Lord Of Bandwidth. Maximizer Of Headroom. God Of Blasphemy, God Of Heresy, God Of Atheism. The God Who Works Gently Overnight. The God Who Came In From The Cold. Rightful Ruler Of Inches, Kibo Of Courier, Kibo Of Helvetica, Kibo Of My Heart, Kibo Of My Noggin, Kibo Of My Dreams. Kibo The Lemon-Fresh. Kibo The Zima Guy. Kibo Of The Sneakerphone. God Of The Loom. Kibo The Band Of Elastic Waste. King Of The Gods, God Of Kings, The One God To Have When You're Having More Than One. Maker Of Chocolate Tapioca, Taker Of Time, Loser Of Virginity, He Who Sank My Battleship, He Who Got Four Across--Diagonally, Kibo The Wonder Horse. Kibo The Revealer Of The Unknowable. Kibo The Concealer Of The Obvious. Taker Of Chances, Giver Of A Pile Of All The Candy In The World, Good Monster, Friend To Children, Enlightener Of The Gullible. Great Caesar's Kibo, Who Art In Stereo. Lover Of Beef, Liver Of Beef. Splitter Of Atoms, Of Hairs, Of Hairs Of Atoms, Of Checks. He Who Feels At Home In Public. He Who Saves Foil. He Who Talks Like Michael O'Hare. He Who Can Spit Over The Horizon. He Who Keeps Clear. He Who Opens Other End. He Who Is Scared Of MIT's Artificial Muscle Laboratory. Kibo, A Dinosaur From Our Imagination. Kibo Whose Gifts To Mankind Include Every Grain Of Sand In Every Bathing Suit. He Who Rains In Your Beer, Spoiler Of Milk, Curdler Of Cheese, Opener Of Supermarkets, Chocolatier And Mixer Of Bridge, Heaper Of Teaspoons, Chunkier Of Peanut Butter. Repeater Of Things. Signer Of The Perfect Form. Nester Of Space. Kibo Who Meets Only The Highest Standards. The First Deity On The Left. The Entire Front Row Of The Cosmic Audience. Kibo Whose Ego Is Bigger Than The Universe Can Contain. Center Of Activity, Kibo Who Art Suitable For All Ages, Kibo Who Art Abnormally Average, Kibo Who Shops Till Others Drop, Kibo Who Can Type With No Hands. He Who Made Me Say This Of My Own Free Will. He Who Is Faster Than A Speeding Bullet, He Who Can Turn The World On With His Smile, With Gilligan, The Skipper Too, A Modern-Day Stone-Age Deity, Kibo, Hollow Be His Name. AMEN. ATOM. WOMP WOMP. XXXOOOXXX. RINSE AND REPEAT. "Once on the set of `Star Trek V', a vision from Kibo saved me from a bad hair day." -- William S. -- K. Article 27928 of alt.religion.kibology: From: chambles@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Be gentle with me, but....what _IS_ Kibo? Date: 28 Apr 1994 00:22:31 -0500 Organization: The Greys Simon Juden wrote: >I have to ask this - well you can see what I want to ask from the subject >header...I did try and work it out from some of the articles but I won't >embarass myself by telling you what I came up with! > >An inquisitive mathematician (there is no other sort you know) Although I suspect that your post is a forgery by aliens, I'll try to help. Kibo is the Self-Appointed and Secretly Elected Leader and Perpetrator of HappyNet(tm). His abilities are legend, his responsibilities none. He is the One Whose Name May Not be Typed, He Who Greps, Poster of Inanities to Already Inane Groups, Owner of the Tempermental Mac, Subject of Articles in Magazines that Otherwise Suck, Man of a Thousand Typefaces, Tester of Theories, Owner of the Infinite .signature, B!FFZT3R of an ALternate Universe, The One Who may Mind-Meld with John_-_Winston, Patron Saint of Rec.Org.Mensa, Moderator of chi.test, Architect of the Greater Renaming, the Only meta-celebrity, Corrector of Spelling, Friend of the Homeless, Home to the Clueless, He Who Knows All and Says Even More, Larry Wall's Evil Twin, Serdar Argic's Criminal Grandfather, Thinker of Thoughts That Make Men go Mad, Andy Warhol's Prime Example, root@128.0.0.1, as well as being the guy who played the pizza waiter in Star Trek IV: Old Guys and a Whale. For more detailed info, you'd really need the alt.alien.visitors FAQ., -- * Billy Chambless University of Southern Mississippi * "We will not allow yourselves to be pummeled." -- Mark Line * "People who quote .signatures are idiots." -- James Parry Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 22:21:17 -0500 Subject: Re: new to the group Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology References: <36D66A78.4E3C@somewhere.com> Status: R David Pacheco writes: >noone@somewhere.com says... What is kibology ? Kibo is the Alpha Male. The rest of us just cower in the corner with our tails between our legs until Kibo finishes feasting at the carcass of popular culture, and then we all dive in and pick at the bones. Occasionally he gives us a leftover meme or two. If we're REALLY good. Once in a while, if we're really good and we pray REALLY REALLY hard, Kibo kills someone for laughs (Sonny Bono, Dean Martin, Carl Sagan, Gene Siskel, David Duchovny). Lisa Pea is the one with the real influence, tho... whenever she returns for her all-too-brief visits, everybody else starts posting like her. Or rather, like they *think* she posts. Andrea Chen is the one who keeps bringing in newsgroups for Kibo to mate with. Kibo is the Morning and the Evening star, plus many other fine periodicals. Kibo is the reason glue is sticky. Kibo is the reason all time-travel TV shows eventually end up on the Titanic... and he is the reason they can never change history as we know it. Kibo is the world's foremost expert on vintage rubbing alcohol. Kibo is the "G" in "GNU". In Eric S. Raymond's parable about open source code, "The Cathedral and the Bazaar," Kibo is the Hunchback. Kibo is the One who woke everybody up from the Dream Time. Kibo has been known by many names in His various incarnations throughout the ages: Al-Rath Ur, Agammemnon, Charlemagne, Fatty Arbuckle, Ghandi, Salmon Fishdie, Yahoo Serious, YAHWEH, Bertrand Russell, Pauly Shore, Terri Willis. But Kibo has no sense of Self, and is aware of the fleeting nature of Phenomena. KIBO IS THE REASON OS/2 FAILED. When Kibo posts, choirs of heavenly angels sing songs of praise on the highest. When Kibo trolls, the Earth trembles like a giant awakening from a deep slumber. Kibo's time has passed, but he will return when the time is ready... ...and then will come the Day of Reckoning for this James Parry dude. -dp. PLUS, he's the ONCOLOGICAL TORTILLA!