Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 06:12:07 -0500
Subject: [ark] Re: Classified US Government Technology
Status: RO

In alt.religion.kibology, kibo@world.std.com wrote:

In alt.politics.kibo, soundweapon@cs.com wrote:
>  Classified US Government Technology
>  
>  The United States government now has surveillance technology than can

the man in the tan van with the golden "AN".  The silly bee can drinky tea and

>  electronically see and hear through walls. Agents of the US government

food stamp program make the stamps taste bad to confuse me when I eat them.  I

>  can move into a neighboring house and conduct complete surveillance of

the house's wallpaper in case the unicorns try to escape.  My article can bore

>  you in your home completely without your knowledge. The agents will

cut out unicorns with scissors and add them to my wallpaper to bug me, and

>  never have to enter your home and place bugs because all surveillance

has become too cheap to meter.  And thanks to modern technology, tattooing

>  is done electronically through the walls of your home. All your

skin will soon be covered with unicorns to make you into wallpaper.  Bowel

>  movements and conversations in your own home can be recorded and

music videos can be released with unicorns singing the dirty parts, critically

>  analyzed without your knowledge. This technology in effect gives agents

Thursday nights off to play paintball inside my head.  Unicorns speak

>  of the US government X-ray vision and they can use it to see right into

my nose whenever I am sleeping, but only if I'm lying down.  I farted in

>  your bedroom.

EVIL UNICORN ALERT EVIL UNICORN ALERT FIRING TATTOOS FROM PAINTBALL GUN
  
>  This US government has also incorporated this technology into targeting

K-Mart and walmarting Target.  Wal-Mart's owned by giant germs that have micro

>  scopes that can identify and target a person through walls. This

made my head explode.  And then unicorns came out.  A new mouthwash named

>  targeting scope combined with a high powered rifle can assassinate a

human but only if they aren't already dead.  I don't know how to kill a dead

>  person through walls.

EVIL UNICORN ALERT EVIL UNICORN ALERT UNICORNS SPOTTED SHOPPING AT SEARS

>  This technology was developed to protect the national security of the

Woodstock Nation, from bad vibes and two-horned unicorns, sneaking in from the

>  United States but has been illegally turned against innocent US

Magazine readers who get too intimate with the scented perfume ads.  Position

>  citizens by agents of the US government. Agents of the US government

gave me a full-body tattoo that looks like a picture of me but stupid, and

>  are covertly working with local law enforcement to conduct illegal

symphony orchestras playing pirated MP3s of clown music.  K-Mart sells

>  surveillance of innocent US civilians. Citizens have no defense against

the unicorns, clowns, and Sears that feed me bowls of paintballs and ignore

>  this technology. You may never know you're under surveillance and even

numbers such as 4 seem less random than odd numbers such as 5.  But

>  if you were made aware, there is nothing you can do about it. No

numbers can be changed from even to odd even if a unicorn jumps over them.  My

>  electronic detection equipment is available to detect the surveillance

rays coming from Wal-Mart and redirect them to dumb down US Magazine, using

>  technology. If you're targeted, you're on your own because no one can

of Campbell's soup contains more than one piece of beef, and if you eat it, God

>  help you. For more information, please visit the website listed below.

http://www.google.com

For even more information, please visit it twice.

>  Website:
>  http://ourworld.cs.com/soundweapon/
>  
>  
>  Soundweapon@cs.com
>  
>  
>  Please Note: Postings on newsgroups of this message are being removed

from my brain through my nose with dirty pliers that unicorns have touched,

>  possibly by the government. Hundreds of newsgroup postings of this

word --> "fumbucket" <-- have not yet happened.  Any pieces of beef in this

>  message have been removed, sometimes within a few hours of initial

letters being followed by entire words.  Pile drivers are used to set

>  postings. Please copy this information and repost it in any appropriate

Wal-Mart restroom, behind the pile of evil unicorns.  I don't seem sane on any

>  newsgroup, including this one. Also, please send this information to

me and pretend you wrote it, so I can be embarrassed for someone else.  Call

>  any federal, state, local law enforcement, congress person, and senator

and ask if their refrigerator is full of unicorns, or any other hairy critters

>  you know of.

EVIL UNICORN ALERT EVIL UNICORN ALERT FUMBUCKET FUMBUCKET FUMBUCKET FUMBUCKET


                                             -- K.

                                                Why do I even waste my time?