Article 156542 of alt.religion.kibology: From: david_pacheco@lineone.net (David Pacheco) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.fashion Subject: Re: Stupidity In Your Front Window. REPOST Message-ID: Organization: NO CARRIER X-Newsreader: MicroPlanet Gravity v2.10 Date: Fri, 8 Jan 1999 23:22:53 -0000 bdc@world.std.com (Brian "JARAI" Chase) says... > I really enjoy the King James version of Superfreak. REPOST TIME!! NO CALLBACKS! NO GIMMES! The following is a repost. As such, it should be considered and treated on the same level as leftover food. Smile warmly, say "Mmm, honey, this is *delicious*!" and then give it to your dog. -dp. Hopefully the one you don't like much. ------------------- snip here and discard --------------- Subject: The King Rick James KiBible: Book of Genesis From: david_pacheco@lineone.net (David Pacheco) Date: Mon, 24 Aug 1998 23:07:57 GMT Organization: NO CARRIER Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God Kibo had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath Lord God Kibo said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? For art thou not a very kinky girl, the kind one doth not take home to mother? And the woman said unto the serpent, Nay, yet We may eat of the sexy fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the kinky fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden (IYKWIM), Lord God Kibo hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye become a superfreak. And the serpent did LIE like a rug unto the woman, and said unto her, Ye shall not surely die: and Ye shall surely not become the kind of girl who shall wait for me backstage with thine girlfriends in a limousine. For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then thine eyes shall be opened like pretty flowers, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil, and Ye shall NOT suffer three as unto a crowd. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, and the kind of tree you read about in new wave magazines: she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat, with wine, incense and candles. And lo, it WAS a scene of much FREAK. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; BARANGUS! And they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons from their heads down to their toenails. For they were HUNG OVER, and did not recall of what FOOD they had partaken the night before, which hath left their mouths with STRANGE tastes, and aches of the HEAD. And they heard the voice of the LORD God KIBO walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and the LORD God Kibo did smoke a pack of MENTOS, which were as unto him his preferred afternoon producer of satisfying BUZZ. And Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God KIBO amongst the trees of the garden. And behind the TREES did they make themselves BUSY, which was disgraceful unto the eyes of the LORD God KIBO. And the LORD God KIBO called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and Thou wast humming the melody from "Ye Smalle Wonder", and I was afraid, because I was starkers; and I hid myself. For Thou hast the Temptations singing backup to Thine Holy Choir, and the noise did afflict me. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? Hast thou eaten of the only tree of which thou wast strictly NOT ALLOWED? Ist thou completely NUTS? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat, for yea! I did want to taste her. But lo, my Lord Kibo, and note that she's all right. Yea, She's all right. And lo! That girl Eve is all right with me. Hey hey hey YOW! And the LORD God Kibo said unto the woman, What is this freaky thing that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat, for the serpent has made of me a kinky girl. Unto the woman the Lord Kibo said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. For thou art never hard to please, and when Adam doth make his move to your room it IS the right time. And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she WAS the mother of all living. And she did NEVER let his spirits down, once he did get her OFF the streets. And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD Kibo. And Lord Kibo did DESCEND from the Heavens and exclaim "Do NOT thou look at ME, sister. For yea! I did have NOTHING to do with this one." And 'twas many a day until Eve CONFIRMED the Truth, via a small DNA sample that she did RETRIEVE from the LORD God KIBO, in a manner of which thou hast no need to know. -dp. Lettuce pray. ------------------- snip here and preserve ---------------