Article 112939 of alt.religion.kibology: From: rsholmes@hydra.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes) Newsgroups: alt.society.neutopia,alt.cyberpunk,alt.religion.kibology,alt.grelb Subject: Re: Ye Farce of Neutopia, Doctress of Alte Date: 07 May 1996 18:56:13 GMT abostick@netcom.com (Alan Bostick) writes: >elibalin@panix.com (Eli M. Balin) wrote: >> Doctress Neutopia wrote: >> >Act one: Take the guns from the foul-mouth boys. >> >Act two: FREE THE PEOPLE >> >> Act Three: In which Pemmican and Bolitho happen upon a goat in the >> Doctress' boudoir, and Lady Teazel absconds with a cheese. > >Act Four: Malvoglio disguises himself as the Doctress so that he can >woo Petrucchio and trick him into revealing where the family jewels are >hidden. Meanwhile, the servant Mosca delivers expensive gifts from his >master Volpone to the real Doctress, whose heart is moved not by Volpone's >generosity but by Mosca's wicked sensuality. Act Five: Burger King, six hundred years later. The Doctress enters, pushes a dead goat into the trash can, goes to the counter, and orders a pemmican burger. Attempting to pay with a two dollar bill, she is apprehended by the National Guard and taken to a baseball game, where the umpire (Milton Berle) falls in love with the second baseman (Sharon Stone). Suddenly the organ explodes. In the confusion the Doctress, disguised as a Maytag repairman (Jack Lemmon), hotwires a red Alfa Romeo and drives to Madagascar. There she encounters a sadistic ice cream salesman (Fleetwood Mac) and an unreasonable florist (Milton Berle again) who cut her head off, then reattach it, but backwards. In the ensuing dream sequence, Bob Dole (Ronald Reagan) is elected president. Returning to consciousness, the Doctress realizes that whatever her heart desires can be found in her own back yard (Orson Welles), and she lives happily ever after. -- - Doctroid Doctroid Holmes `Nobody has a "Bruce Ediger" quote in their .sig - not even me.' - Bruce Ediger