Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 19:19:10 -0500
Subject: Re: Poopy hole
Status: RO

In alt.religion.kibology, kibo@world.std.com wrote:

Raoul Vandelayer (thefishof@yourbrother.raoul) wrote:
>
>  James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
>  >
>  >  "Hey, the Earth eats what it wants, because it's bigger than we are.
>  >  If the Earth swallows something, to get it vomited back up, we'd need
>  >  to fill the entire Moon with Ipecac before crashing it into the Earth.
>  >  And that's just silly.  Another piņa colada?"
>  
>  Kibo, you win the prize for the best Usenet post ever to combine the 
>  concepts "ipecac" and "piņa colada." Your prize is a lifetime supply of 
>  ipecacoladas. (Two should be plenty.)



            SPOT'S EVEN BETTER STORY ABOUT IPECACOLADAS

                       by James "Kibo" Parry
               Copyright (C) 2005 James "Kibo" Parry

"Mmm," said Spot, "I love the way Jell-O shots slide down my throat
automatically.  And since Ipecac comes up automatically, by mixing
the two I could create perpetual motion.  I'd just take one drink
and could enjoy it going up and down and up and down for the rest
of my life.  But what flavor should it be?  I only have one chance
to get this right!"

So Spot went to the supermarket to look at the drink mixes.
There was Bloody Mary mix (which looked suspiciously like tomato juice)
and Tom Collins mix (which looked like green Kool-Aid) and banana
daquiri smoothie mix that just required the addition of bananas and
booze and a blender in order to turn the packet of sugar into a
real banana daquiri smoothie.  Spot settled on piņa colada mix,
because it had a tilde in it and he loved spicy food.

At home, Spot mixed the packet of powder with his Ipecac and Jell-O,
but then he remembered that fresh pineapple keeps Jell-O from gelling.
Frantically, he checked the list of ingredients on the packet to see
if the powder contained fresh pineapple, but fortunately it was all
poisonous chemicals.  Spot poured the Ipecacolada mixture into
a dozen shot glasses and put them all in the fridge to solidify.
He figured he'd drink one tonight, and save the others in case
he ever got eleven friends.

Then he got run over by a bus.  In his living room.  When the hazmat
crew came in to scrub the blood off the walls and ceiling so that
the house could be sold to a normal person, one of them found the
little glasses in the fridge.  He drank one, and then his stomach
exploded, but fortunately he was wearing his plastic hazmat suit so
it didn't make a mess.  Or at least, it didn't until he also got
run over by a bus in Spot's kitchen.

"Why are there buses going through this crappy house?" asked the
other hazmat guy just before one crushed him.

The driver of the bus got off and helped himself to a hot beverage
from Spot's percolator.  "Thank you, Mr. Coffee!  Much obliged!"
Then he found the remaining ten Ipecacoladas and drank all of them.
He enjoyed them very much.

THE END.

                                             -- K.

                                                Improvisation is more fun
                                                than actually doing stuff.