Article 104027 of alt.religion.kibology: From: elibalin@panix.com (Eli M. Balin) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: _Pra Yuen Wat_ Date: 16 Dec 1995 00:37:50 -0500 Organization: Tai Ching! PRA YUEN WAT [Standing Buddha] by Eli Balin ACT ONE Complete darkness. A single spotlight clicks on, illuminating KAO PROONG-NEE [Nine Tomorrow]. She is dressed entirely in black and stands with her arms at her sides, staring directly ahead. KAO PROONG-NEE Chan tong-karn. [I want a room.] The spotlight expands its focus, revealing hints of walls in the darkness. KAO PROONG-NEE Chan tong-karn hing non kon deo. [I want a room with a bed.] The light intensifies, bringing a bed into view. KAO PROONG-NEE Hong tee me hong arb-nam duay. [A room with a bath.] More light, revealing a bathtub. KAO PROONG-NEE Chan yark doo hong pak sak hoi. [I would like to see the room.] The room is now fully lit. It is drab, in the style of mid-twentieth century motels. There is no furniture aside from the bed and bathtub. Pale light emanates from a single window at the back of the room. KAO PROONG-NEE Chan mai po-chai hong tee chan yoo. [I am not pleased with my room.] From nowhere, a cacophony of voices, traffic noises, and animal sounds arises. KAO PROONG-NEE Chan non mai lhab mee sieng chok chak mark lhua kern! [I can't sleep at night, there is so much noise!] The sound cuts off suddenly. KAO PROONG-NEE Hong nee mai sa-ard. Rong-tao koo nee mai sai khong chan. Chan cha ha thee pak ram dai thee nai barng? Chan mai mee hong! [This room is not clean. These shoes are not mine. Where can I spend the night? I do not have a room!] All lights go off, and there is once again total darkness. KAO PROONG-NEE Chan mai mee hong. [I do not have a room.] Exit KAO PROONG-NEE ACT TWO DIN SAW [Pencil] and PLOK-KO SUA [Collar], two waiters, stand on either side and slightly downstage of LA-MOOD FARANG [Nase Berry], a maitre'd. All three have large fake mustaches, but being waiters, DIN SAW and PLOK-KO SUA have slightly larger ones than LA-MOOD FARANG. As the scene opens, DIN SAW is holding a large fish. There is a screen behind them, on which pictures of fish are projected in accordance with the dialogue. LA-MOOD FARANG Mee pra-ah-rai barng? [And what about fish?] DIN SAW Hoi nang lom. [Oyster.] DIN SAW throws the fish to PLOK-KO SUA. A picture of an oyster is projected on the screen. PLOK-KO SUA Koong. [Lobster.] PLOK-KO SUA throws the fish to DIN SAW. A picture of a lobster is projected on the screen. DIN SAW Pla sal-mon. [Salmon.] DIN SAW throws the fish to PLOK-KO SUA. A picture of a salmon is projected on the screen. PLOK-KO SUA Pla lin-mah. [Sole.] PLOK-KO SUA throws the fish to DIN SAW. A picture of a sole is projected on the screen. DIN SAW Pla-cha-ra-met. [Bass.] DIN SAW throws the fish to PLOK-KO SUA. A picture of a bass is projected on the screen. PLOK-KO SUA Pla-cha-ra-met. [Butter Fish.] PLOK-KO SUA throws the fish to DIN SAW. A picture of a butter fish is projected on the screen. DIN SAW Poo-ta-lay. [Blue Crab.] DIN SAW throws the fish to PLOK-KO SUA. A picture of a blue crab is projected on the screen. PLOK-KO SUA Poo lom. [Fiddler crab.] A picture of a fiddler crab is projected on the screen. PLOK-KO SUA throws the fish to LA-MOOD FARANG. LA-MOOD FARANG Shin nee klin mai koi dee. [This does not smell very nice.] PLOK-KO SUA and DIN SAW Mai pen rai thok! [Don't mention it!] All exit. ACT THREE A single chair rests at the center of the stage. MOONG [Mosquito Net] enters and begins to pace around, evidently in search of something. After a few minutes, KHON-SAT [Wool] enters. MOONG Thee nang nee mee krai chong laew rhue yarng? [Is this seat taken?] KHON-SAT Trong moom, han na hai rot-chak. [A corner seat, facing the engine.] LAM SAI [Intestines] and SHUEK [Rope] enter from opposite sides of the stage. LAM SAI Chan chong wai leaw sawng thee-nang. [I have two seats reserved.] SHUEK Thee nang nee mee kon chong laew. [This seat is reserved.] KHON-SAT Kho tose, nun pen thee nang khong Chan. [Excuse me, sir, that seat is mine.] LAM SAI Kon ma Chan sia laew. [Someone has taken my seat.] MOONG Warng kra-pao wai tai thee nang. [Put my luggage under the seat.] SHUEK Trong moom, han lhang hai rot-chak. [A corner seat, back to the engine.] SABU KON [Cake of Soap] and PEN SIEW [Boil] enter. PEN SIEW Shuay ha thee nang sawng thee shan neung. [Find me two seats, first class.] SABU KON Mee thee nang shan neung warng barng-mai? [Are there any first class seats?] SHUEK Ha thee nang mai hai Chan duai. [Find me another seat.] YA RA-BAI [Insect Repellent] enters. YA RA-BAI Tharn truad sed laew shai-mai? [Have you finished?] ALL OTHERS Cha. [Yes.] YA RA-BAI takes the chair and walks offstage. After a few minutes, all others follow. -END- -- Eli M. Balin elibalin@panix.com Fill me with helium. Tie a string to my foot. Call me a balloon.