Date: Thu, 29 Aug 2002 21:51:03 -0400 Subject: Re: A Cactuars Dilemma (silly stat brain teaser) Status: R In alt.religion.kibology, spog@jwgh.org (Jacob W. Haller) wrote: I think this should actually be rewritten as a Spot story. Yvan Aquino wrote: > One day, while sitting at your computer and reading the Google:Groups > sci.math boards, you're computer screen begins to spasm. You hear > loud noises and start thinking "Ahh, crap- what the hell is it > this...", but before you can even finish your thought, your computer > screen blows into 1,000 pieces which appear to be frozen in time, and > despite all the chaos admist the screen area, you can barely what > looks like a big black sphere. Now, more evident than ever, you lock > eyes with the sphere and begin to reach out to it. Having second > thoughts, you attempt to pull your arm back, but before you can, the > sphere sucks you in and now you've entered another world. One day, Spot decided to read sci.math on his WebTV Plus. A message by Rvan Aquino caught his attention, but he couldn't read it because dogs can't read! So he clicked on alt.binaries.math.pr0n.eight-dimensional, but since Spot wasn't 18 he wasn't Allowed in. This sucked so much that Spot was sucked into an entirely different universe, one in which Bea Arthur was president. > As you stand up you notice your reflection in the water. Your > once tan complexion now stands out, hunter green; and what little hair > you left now stands on ends, like the needles of a cactus. In > complete disbelief, you begn to examine your surroundings... the coast > is clear (or so you think), and then you notice this guy with a really > bad hair cut and a bad ass sword coming at you. Normally, as a > cactuar you could've evaded this slow, pathetic albeit forceful blow, > but since you're new to this body, and unaquainted to movement you > feel the touch of cold steel, almost severing your arms. Spot was confused by his new surroundings. He absent-mindedly tried to lick his paw. "Yowch!" said Spot, as his tongue was pierced by something sharp. Now Spot was even more puzzled. Licking his paw didn't usually hurt his tongue. He was about to lick his paw again when suddenly he noticed that it was a different color than it usually was. He was kelly green! For a little while Spot thought that this meant he worked for a temp agency, but then he noticed that he was covered with pointy spines and no typing ability. Spot was a cactus! Spot was starting to come to terms with his new vegetative state when suddenly a knight came charging towards him! Normally cacti are very good at dodging swords, but Spot momentarily thought he was still just a dog and didn't move. Yowch! The knight's sword almost cut Spot the Cactus's arms right off! Poor Spot! > Your blood pressure rises, and now your head is steaming. You've > become super pissed and you suddenly feel the needles on your whole > body loosening up(their are 1000 in total). Looks like that bad > hairdo-ed bad ass sword toting dumby wants a piece of you. He taunts > you, and laughs, but little does he know theirs a chance that 1000 > needles are gonna come flying at him in 3 seconds. He takes another > quick peak at you, realizing that their's something wrong- as your not > attacking. Out of nowhere, 1000 needles materialize and sting your > victim, who hits the ground, writhing in agony. This is the last time > he'll be messing with a cactaur, that's for sure. The knight took Spot home, chopped off his head, and started steaming it. Spot's body didn't like this at all, and it started to puff up alarmingly! The knight turned from his preparation of Spot's head and decided to puncture the poor overinflated body. However, just as he was about to do this, 1024 pins and needles appeared out of nowhere and stitched him up but good! The knight struggled, but the embroidery was too much for him. > After encountering numerous zealous adventurers, all hell bent on > getting your hide, you've found out that 99.9999% of the time, at > least 750 of the 1000 needles connect. Spot's head cheered! But Spot's body grew a new head, which then ate the old head as it was no longer necessary. Spot realized that he tasted very good! And having been eaten by a radioactive Spot, he realized he now had a super power: the ability to summon 1023 pins and needles and have them attack anyone he wanted! He went around the country, having numerous adventures, until he was known all around the world as "that annoying dog-cactus that hits its target 75% of the time"! > With what probability (p), does each needle have a chance to connect? > IE: What is the probability of one needle striking? Then Spot became caught in a stupid word problem on a newsgroup. Poor Spot! The End. -jwgh -- "PS. Please take note of the fact that, in conformity with the regulations of this office, all information contained in the above letter is false, for reasons of military security." - Umberto Eco, /How to Travel with a Salmon & Other Essays/