Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: A serious stupid question.
Sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself)
X-Face: $T[.n?/D[sL]Jpd{Jp66*DCPkYZ-oSm9^Xw`v9eZeo`Bt?*2:Eag<1.o@h?wWD5J*]lxl
Date: Fri, 3 Mar 2000 13:00:25 GMT

Chip Salzenberg (grout@pobox.com) wrote:
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
> > Both are made from cheap cuts of mechanically-separated comminuted beef
> > and rehydrated potato-like cubes.
> 
> Do I want to know what "comminuted" means?

I _could_ write an hour-long drama titled "The Dictionary: It's Your
Word-Filled Pal That Defines Love" but I'm under a court order not to
help the Teens Of Today ever again, since the incident where I taught some
kid some new words and the school nurse washed out his mouth with expanding
foam insulation.  So I'll just tell you what I'm talking about without
actually mentioning that you could have just looked it up in Mr. Dictionary.

"comminuted" means "whoops, we ground this up until it was too runny to
make hot dogs out of".  It's between "pureé" and "frappe" on your blender.

Note that "mechanically-separated" meat also means pureéd, except that
they mechanically separate it by grinding it up with the bones still in it,
and then they squoosh it through a screen door to filter out the larger
bits of the bone and the bits too small to see become an important source
of calcium.  (The bits that are larger get weeded out and put into dog
food.  Don't ask me where the "ash" content in dog food comes from.)

They now have a technology where they can toss a quadrant of a chicken
into an automated milling machine and it will scrape the bones clean,
much like desert termites, without breaking the bones.  Meat produced
that way is considered real meat by the government, whereas meat with
ground-up bones is "mechanically separated".

Also I think snouts count as skeletal meat and not organ meat.  This is
because pigs have their skeleton on the outside of their nose.

If you're really good I'll tell you what the natural red coloring named
"cochineal" was before they put it in your candy.

                                      -- K.

                                         Hint:  After you grind up a ladybug
                                         you can't tell how many spots it had.