Article #192925 (193061 is last):
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: A Visit to Seattle's Trader Joes
Date: Tue Apr 20 02:52:42 1999

Joseph Michael Bay (jmbay@leland.Stanford.EDU) wrote:
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) writes:
> > Bozos always seem to have energy to spare.  This is because bozosity
> > violates the Second Law Of Thermodynamics, and bozosity will someday
> > be harnessed to power the Sun!
>
> Someday, bozosity will be too cheap to meter!

GUY IN OVERALLS:  I'm here to read your bozo meter.

ME:  Okay.

(GUY IN OVERALLS opens a small hatch, and eight cream pies hit him in the face.)

ME:  What's the reading?

GUY IN OVERALS:  Eight!  Cream!  Pies!

(He falls down the stairs.)

ME:  I guess I should pave over those stairs so that doesn't happen again.
I better go to Home Depot right away.

(CUT TO Home Depot, where the owner is being chased through the store
in fast-motion by a dozen women in string bikinis while wacky music plays.)

                         -- K.

                            Incidentally, today at Home Depot I was in
                            the toilet trouble aisle and I found
                           "Master Plunger: The Master Of _ALL_ Plungers"
                            and "Double Agent With Nuggets".

                            These James Bond movies are getting so lame!
                            I mean, it used to be that Sean Connery found
                            his girlfriend covered in gold paint.  Now,
                            Pierce Brosnan just finds her jammed into a toilet.
                            Then, Bruce Boxleitner throws his glowing nuggets
                            at the Master Plunger, and then Babylon 5 explodes
                            because it got cancelled.