Date: Wed, 8 Dec 2004 00:19:23 -0500
Subject: [ark] Re: STORY (new):  Beethoven's Shortest Story
Status: RO

In alt.religion.kibology, kibo@world.std.com wrote:
This came to me while I was in the bathtub, as usual.  It makes no sense.




                        BEETHOVEN'S SHORTEST STORY

                          by James "Kibo" Parry

                  Copyright (C) 2004 James "Kibo" Parry


          "I'll get to the bottom of this!" screamed Beethoven as he
          frantically crossed out the music he'd written and then
          wrote the secret formula:

              STAPLE TO-TO TO TO
                                ASTER
                                ILET

          "C'mere, Toto!" Beethoven yelled as he grabbed Spot.

          "But my name's not--OW!  Spot!  OW!!!"  Beethoven had just
          stapled Spot's ear to the toaster, and his other ear to
          the toilet.  "Waah!" cried Spot, "Now all I can do is
          toast and shit!"

          Beethoven advanced on him with a hot waffle iron.  He
          pressed Spot's face to it, rubbing Spot back and forth
          across it until he was uniformly blackened with no
          tell-tale grid marks that could be used as evidence of
          abuse.  Spot whimpered.

          Then, Spot had one of his measly brainstorms.  He pointed
          at the window.  "Hey, look, Beethoven!  It's Baron Victor
          von Frankenstein!  And there's the mad scientist who
          built him!"

          Beethoven grabbed his gun and jumped out the window. 
          Unfortunately, he landed in one of the town's many public
          vats of lye.  He instantly fizzed away into a big toxic
          cloud of gas that used to write symphonies.

          Then Frankenstein came in through the window and ate Spot.

                                 The End.



                                                  -- K.

                                                     I swear it's only
                                                     because I had a bad day.