Date: Fri, 4 May 2001 04:00:51 -0400
Subject: Re: Wacky Wheat
Status: R

In alt.religion.kibology, Kibo wrote:
"Dag Right-square-bracket-gren" (d@c3.cx) wrote:
>  I've got my phone set to say beep-beep-beep ONCE, and the shut the fuck
>  up. And not very loudly either. It's great - I don't even have to turn it
>  off at times when having it ringing would be embarrassing (like during the
>  presentation of aerogels I held today), because people won't even hear
>  it. Myself included. Which I only see as positive.

Hold it!  Backspace a moment!  Tell me more about this "presentation
of aerogels".  I can think of so many ways that could have gone.

So many kinky, kinky ways.

"Is Edge Aerogel thick and creamy enough to support this curvaceous
fashion model?"

(blorp)

Or, you could have given a wacky zany goofy nutty presentation:

"We've secretly replaced the air in Jerry Lewis's office with aerogel.  Let's
watch him flail around at a slightly slower speed than his usual spasticity."

Or you could have made the presentation interactive:

"Now let's see who the winner of the contest to build a castle out
of aerogel is.  Wait, I see we have a late entrant -- there's a guy
walking in holding his 79-room castle above his head."

(Dag sneezes and all the entries are turned to a thin smear of
moisture on the far wall.)

Or you could have presented recipes:

"Mmm!  This new Jell-O aerogel has only 0.00000000000000000000000000000001
calorie per cubic mile, and doesn't taste much lamer than regular Jell-O!"

Or your presentation could have gone horrifyingly wrong:

"Now please turn your attention to the movie screen for this filmed 
presentation."

"Dr. Dag, there's something wrong with the projector!  It looks like
we're seeing everything through a thin layer of Saran Wrap!"

"That's not Saran Wrap!  That's eight thousand cubic feet of aerogel!
THE AEROBLOB IS LOOSE IN THE THEATER!!!!"

(It engulfs Steve McQueen, but then he walks right out of it.)

                                        -- K.

                                           BEWARE THE AEROBLOB!!!