Date: Thu, 27 Apr 2000 04:58:18 -0400
Subject: Re: Eighty-eight lines about forty-four Kibologists
Status: R

In alt.religion.kibology, ktakki@artcrime.com wrote:

[With apologies to The Nails -- www.the-nails.com]
[Nah, fuck apologies.  This was an annoying song.]

Eighty-eight lines about forty-four Kibologists.

Jaffo quit the Internet,
Thinking that would set him free.
Stefan courts an Architect, 
A stately KiboSphere decree.

E Teflon fronts for Silica Gel, 
Buck-a-second is his rate.
Stephen dated MegaHAL: 
Did Markov ever masturbate?

David has a friend named Bender, 
Not a shiny robot he.
Lisa is a mystical dragon: 
Won't you be a friend of me?

Stacia had a stalker-boy, 
Berkeley cops were not amused.
Eli got the radar implant, 
Though he had to buy it used.

Joe Bay put the harmfulness 
Back in pharmacology
Nick worked through his angstfulness
With a free lobotomy.

fB's the Eternal Newbie, 
Scary Devil Monastery.
M. Otis lost his soda pop, 
Now he's just a memory.

Leeb lost girlfriend Valerie,
Pinhole leak and rubber patch.
Chris the Millennial Purist: 
Wait until those brainworms hatch.

Darla was a masochist, 
Pain or pleasure: what's the diff?
Froggy held the Holy Scripture: 
TOUNGE OF FROG: DO NOT SNIFF!

Dave made Cleveland's Subway fare, 
Extra cheese and extra hair.
Ian made the trees go bare, 
Says he's "Sorry" if you care.

Thomas "p.s.:" Richardson, 
Dumps raw sewerage where we swim.
Dag right-bracket Ag-ar-en, 
What the fuck: he's just a Finn.

Rich Holmes in Schenectady, 
Taught us all to Morris Dance 
Andrew with his HO trains, 
The engineer: he has no pants!

Uh-uh.  No pants.

Matthew was a physicist, 
Wades through callbacks thick and thin.
Lots42 is now in Florida, 
Brother's girl is torturing him.

Theo gets the corpse's wallet, 
Then he makes his getaway.
Ellen baked our hashish brownies, 
'til alt.slack stole her away.

Ted Frank drove a lemon KIA, 
Factory defects found too late.
Karlo was a rich punk rocker, 
Silver spork and EMT plate.

Hong Ooi came from Austria, 
Never had to buy a vowel.
~ibo lives with you-know-who, 
Knows durian can smell quite foul.

Louis suffered through Seattle, 
Starbucks cancer everywhere.
red was spawned to torture Nick, 
Had a name that matched her hair.

rone is known as "root" to most, 
Aluminum baseball bat in hand.
Michael posts his shopping lists, 
Harris Teeter is the brand.

Alex had a mane of fire, 
Noone called him "Carrottop".
Leah's problem with her husband, 
Solved it with a riding crop.

Teg just shakes his little fist, 
Like a lesbo terrorist.
Terri didn't give a shit, 
She was just a nihilist.

Sean hates backwards baseball hats, 
Maybe soon he'll trim his .sig.
Tjames outed Donaldson, 
Mr. T. and Dog and Pig.

Gardner drives the Traskmobile, 
JATO bottles on the back.
Robert has a satellite, 
Hi-res .GIFs of some girl's rack.

W e d n e s d a y came from Canada, 
She's a  S c i e n t o l o g i s t
"Kibo" Parry here's a kick, 
I chose you to end this list.

Eighty-eight lines about forty-four Kibologists.


k.

-- 
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
 really good at heart."  - Anne Frank