_____ 1U Creature - Shapeshifter U 1/1 1: This card's name becomes the name of your choice. Play this ability anywhere, anytime. Aesthetic Consultation B Instant R Name an artist. Remove the top six cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card by the named artist. Put that card in your hand, then remove all the other cards revealed this way from the game. Ambiguity 2UU Enchantment R Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered. Artful Looter 2U Creature - Human Wizard C 1/2 Tap: Draw a card, then discard a card. / Whenever a permanent comes into play that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap ~. Ass Whuppin' 1WB Sorcery R Destroy target silver-bordered permanent in any game you can see from your seat. Assquatch 4R Creature - Donkey Lord R 3.5/3.5 Each other Donkey gets +1.5/+1.5 . / Whenever another Donkey comes into play, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn. Atinlay Igpay 5ayWay Eaturecray - Igpay Uay 3/3 Oubleday ikestray Eneverwhay ~'s ontrollercay eaksspay ay onnay-Igpay-Atinlay ordway, acrificesay ~. Avatar of Me 2UU Creature - Avatar R */* ~ costs 1 more to play for each ten years you've been alive. / ~'s power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest 1/2. / ~'s color is the color of your eyes. AWOL 2W Instant C Remove target attacking creature from the game. Then remove it from the removed-from-game zone and put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone. Bad Ass 2BB Creature - Donkey Zombie C 3.5/1 1B,Growl: Regenerate ~. B-I-N-G-O 1G Creature - Hound R 1/1 Trample Whenever a player plays a spell, put a chip counter on its converted mana cost. / ~ gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them. Blast from the Past 2R Instant R Madness R,cycling 1R,kicker 2R,flashback 3R,buyback 4R ~ deals 2 damage to target creature or player. / If the kicker cost was paid, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token into play. Bloodletter 2B Creature - Zombie C 2/3 When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice ~. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player. Booster Tutor B Instant U Open a sealed _Magic_ booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of those cards into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.) Bosom Buddy 3W Creature - Elephant Townsfolk U 1/4 Whenever you play a spell, you may gain .5 life for each word in that spell's name. Brushstroke Paintermage 3U Creature - Human Wizard C 2/3 Tap: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn. Bursting Beebles 2U Creature - Beeble C 2/2 ~ is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist. Cardpecker 1W Creature - Bird C 1.5/1 Flying Gotcha - Whenever an opponent touches the table with his or her hand, you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Carnivorous Death-Parrot 1U Creature - Bird C 2/2 Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice ~ unless you say its flavor text. #(Save a kill spell to deal with this guy.)# Cheap Ass 1W Creature - Donkey Townsfolk C 1/3.5 Spells you play cost .5 less to play. Cheatyface UUU Creature - Efreet U 2/2 Flying You may sneak ~ into play at any time without paying for it, but if an opponent catches you right away, that player may remove ~ from the game. Circle of Protection: Art 1W Enchantment C As ~ comes into play, choose an artist. / 1W: The next time a source of your choice by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. / 1W: Return ~ to its owner's hand. City of Ass Land R ~ comes into play tapped. / Tap: Add one and one-half mana of any one color to your mana pool. Collector Protector 3WW Creature - Human Gamer R 2/5 W,Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or ~ this turn. Creature Guy 3G Creature - Beast U 3/3 Gotcha - Whenever an opponent says "Creature" or "Guy", you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Curse of the Fire Penguin 4RR Enchant Creature R ~ consumes and confuses enchanted creature. ----- Creature - Penguin 6/5 Trample When this creature is put into a graveyard from play, return ~ from your graveyard to play. Deal Damage 2RR Instant U ~ deals 4 damage to target creature or player. / Gotcha - Whenever an opponent says "Deal" or "Damage", you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Double Header 3UU Creature - Drake C 2/3 Flying When ~ comes into play, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand. Drawn Together 2WW Enchantment R As ~ comes into play, choose an artist. / Creatures by the chosen artist get +2/+2. Duh B Instant C Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.) Dumb Ass 2R Creature - Donkey Barbarian C 3.5/2 At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether ~ attacks this turn. Elvish House Party 4GG Creature - Elf Rogue U */* ~'s power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system. Emcee 2W Creature - Human Rogue U 0/1 Whenever another creature comes into play, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice "Presenting ..." and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature. Enter the Dungeon BB Sorcery R Players play a _Magic_ subgame under the table starting at 5 life, using their libraries as their decks. After the subgame ends, the winner searches his or her library for two cards, puts those cards into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library. Erase (Not the _Urza's Legacy_ One) 2W Instant C If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may play ~ without paying its mana cost. / Remove target enchantment from the game. Eye to Eye 2B Instant U You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature. Face to Face 1R Sorcery U You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, ~ deals 5 damage to that opponent. Farewell to Arms 1BB Enchantment C As ~ comes into play, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm. / When the chosen hand isn't behind its owners back, sacrifice ~. If you do, that player discards his or her hand ... of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.) Fascist Art Director 1WW Creature - Human Horror C 2/2 WW: ~ gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn. Fat Ass 4G Creature - Donkey Shaman C 2/3.5 ~ gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Food is in your mouth and you're chewing, licking, sucking, or swallowing it.) First Come, First Served 1W Enchantment U The attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number has first strike. If two or more creatures are tied, they all have first strike. Flaccify 2U Instant C Counter target spell unless its controller pays 3.5 . Forest Basic Land - Forest [G] Form of the Squirrel G Enchantment R As ~ comes into play, put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token into play. You lose the game when it leaves play. / Creatures can't attack you. / You can't be the target of spells or abilities. / You can't play spells. Fraction Jackson 2G Creature - Human Hero R 1/1.5 G,Tap: Return target card with a .5 on it from your graveyard to your hand. Framed! 1U Instant C Tap or untap all permanents by the artist of your choice. Frankie Peanuts 2WW Legendary Creature - Elephant Rogue R 2/3 At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn. Frazzled Editor 1R Creature - Human Bureaucrat C 2/2 Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of text in its text box.) Gleemax 1,000,000 Legendary Artifact R You choose all targets for all spells and abilities. Gluetius Maximus 3GG Creature - Beast U 5/5 As ~ comes into play, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.) / When the chosen finger isn't touching ~, sacrifice ~. Goblin Mime 1R Creature - Goblin Mime C 2/2 When you speak, sacrifice ~. Goblin S.W.A.T. Team 3R Creature - Goblin Warrior C 2/2 Say "~": Put a +1/+1 counter on ~ unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Play this ability only once each turn. Goblin Secret Agent 2R Creature - Goblin Rogue C 2/2 First strike At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random. Granny's Payback 7G Sorcery U You gain life equal to your age. Graphic Violence 2G Instant C All creatures by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn. Greater Morphling 6UU Creature - Shapeshifter R 5/5 2: ~ gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn. / 2: ~ becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn. / 2: ~'s type becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn. / 2: ~'s expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn. / 2: ~'s artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn. / 2: ~ gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn. / 2: Untap ~. Head to Head W Instant U You and target opponent play Seven Questions about the top card of that player's library. (That player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that he or she answers truthfully. You guess the card's name - that's question seven - and the player reveals the card.) If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil 8BB Creature - Demon Child R 8/8 Flying, first strike, trample If you say "I'm coming, too!" as you search your library, you may pay 1B and reveal ~ from your library to have it deal 2 damage to a player of your choice. Do this no more than once each turn. Island Basic Land - Island [U] Johnny, Combo Player 2UU Legendary Creature - Human Gamer R 1/1 4: Search your library for a card and put that card into your hand. Then shuffle your library. Keeper of the Sacred Word 2G Creature - Human Druid C 2/3 As ~ comes into play, choose a word. / Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, ~ gets +3/+3 until end of turn. Kill! Destroy! 1BB Instant U Destroy target nonblack creature. / Gotcha - Whenever an opponent says "Kill" or "Destroy", you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Ladies' Knight 3W Creature - Human Knight U 2/2 Flying Spells that players wearing at least one item of women's clothing play cost 1 less to play. (Women's clothing is designed to be worn exclusively by women.) Land Aid '04 GG Sorcery C Search your library for a basic land card, put that card into play tapped, then shuffle your library. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land. Laughing Hyena 1G Creature - Hyena C 2/2 Gotcha - Whenever an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Letter Bomb 6 Artifact R When ~ comes into play, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card he or she draws until ~ is drawn. When that player draws ~, it deals 19.5 damage to him or her. Little Girl .5W Creature - Human Child C .5/.5 Look at Me, I'm R&D 2W Enchantment R As ~ comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number. / All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number. Loose Lips U Enchant Creature C As ~ comes into play, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words. / Enchanted creature has flying. / Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, you draw two cards unless that player says the chosen sentence. Magical Hacker 1U Creature - Human Gamer U 1/2 U: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn. Man of Measure 1WW Creature - Human Knight C 2/2 As long as you're shorter than an opponent, ~ has first strike and gets +0/+1. / As long as you're taller than an opponent, ~ gets +1/+0. Mana Flair 1R Instant C Add R to your mana pool for each nonland permanent by the artist of your choice. Mana Screw 1 Artifact U 1: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add 2 to your mana pool. Play this ability only any time you could play an instant. Meddling Kids 2WU Creature - Human Child R 2/3 As ~ comes into play, choose a word with four or more letters. / Nonland cards with the chosen word in their text box can't be played. Mise U Instant U Name a nonland card, then reveal the top card of your library. If that card is the named card, draw three cards. Moniker Mage 2U Creature - Human Wizard C 2/2 U,Say your middle name: ~ can't be the target of spells or abilities this turn. / U,Say an opponent's middle name: ~ gains flying until end of turn. Monkey Monkey Monkey 3G Creature - Ape C 1/1 As ~ comes into play, choose a letter. / ~ gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter. Mons's Goblin Waiters R Creature - Goblin Waiter C 1/1 Sacrifice a creature or land: Add .5R to your mana pool. Mother of Goons 2B Creature - Human Cleric C 3/2 Whenever a creature an opponent controls is put into a graveyard from play, sacrifice ~ unless you insult that creature. Mountain Basic Land - Mountain [R] Mouth to Mouth 3U Sorcery U You and target opponent have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of target creature that player controls. Mox Lotus 15 Artifact R Tap: Add \infty to your mana pool. / 100: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool. / You don't lose life due to mana burn. My First Tome 3 Artifact U 1,Tap: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card. Name Dropping 1G Enchantment U Gotcha - Whenever an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return that card to your hand. Necro-Impotence BBB Enchantment R Skip your untap step. / At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents. / Pay .5 life: Remove the top card of your library from the game face down. Put that card into your hand at end of turn. Now I Know My ABCs 1UU Enchantment R At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game. Number Crunch 2U Instant C Return target permanent to its owner's hand. / Gotcha - Whenever an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Old Fogey GG Summon Dinosaur R 7/7 Phasing, cumulative upkeep 1, echo, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2 Orcish Paratroopers 2R Creature - Orc Paratrooper C 4/4 When ~ comes into play, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice ~ unless it lands face up after turning over completely. Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental 1GG Creature - Elemental C 2/2 Art rampage 2 (Whenever this becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.) Persecute Artist 1BB Sorcery U Choose an artist other than Rebecca Guay. Target player reveals his or her hand and discards all nonland cards by the chosen artist. Phyrexian Librarian 3B Creature - Horror U 3/3 Flying, trample At the beginning of your upkeep, remove the top card of your library from the game face up and balance it on your body. / When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice ~. Plains Basic Land - Plains [W] Pointy Finger of Doom 4 Artifact R 3,Tap: Spin ~ in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to. Punctuate 3R Instant C ~ deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creatures text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - ( ) / " ' & .) Pygmy Giant 1RR Creature - Giant U 0/2 R,Tap,Sacrifice a creature: ~ deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box. Question Elemental? 2UU? Creature? - Elemental? U? 3?/4? Flying? Are you aware that when you say something that isn't a question, the player who first points out this fact gains control of ~? R&D's Secret Lair Legendary Land R Play cards as written. Ignore all errata. / Tap: Add 1 to your mana pool. Rare-B-Gone 2BR Sorcery R Each player sacrifices all rare permanents, then reveals his or her hand and discards all rare cards. Red-Hot Hottie 2RR Creature - Elemental C 2/5 Whenever ~ deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It has "At the end of each turn, sacrifice this creature unless you scream "Aaah!" at the top of your lungs.". Remodel 2G Instant C If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may play ~ without paying its mana cost. / Remove target artifact from the game. Richard Garfield, Ph.D. 3UU Legendary Creature - Human Designer R 2/2 You may play cards as though they were other _Magic_ cards of your choice with the same mana cost. (Mana cost includes color.) You can't choose the same card twice. Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug 3R Creature - Slug U 3/1 Super haste (This may attack the turn before you play it. (You may put this card into play from your hand, tapped and attacking, during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the end of your next turn unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.)) Rod of Spanking 1 Artifact U 2,Tap: ~ deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap ~ unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?". S.N.O.T. G Creature - Ooze C *^2/*^2 As ~ comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named ~ in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature. / ~'s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of ~s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.) Saut\'e 1RR Instant C Saut\'e deals 3.5 damage to target creature or player. Save Life W Instant U Choose one - Target player gains 2.5 life; or prevent the next 2.5 damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn. / Gotcha - Whenever an opponent says "Save" or "Life", you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Shoe Tree 4G Creature - Treefolk C 3/3 ~ comes into play with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters. / ~ gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it. Side to Side 2G Instant U You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, put a 3/3 green Ape creature token into play. Six-y Beast 3R Creature - Beast U 0/0 As ~ comes into play, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice ~. Smart Ass 2U Creature - Donkey Wizard C 2.5/1 Whenever ~ attacks, name a card. Defending player may reveal his or her hand and show you that the named card isn't there. If that player doesn't, ~ is unblockable this turn. Spell Counter 2UU Instant U Counter target spell. / Gotcha - Whenever an opponent says "Spell" or "Counter", you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Standing Army 2WW Creature - Human Soldier C 2/4 As long as you're standing, ~ has vigilance. (*) Staying Power 2W Enchantment R As long as ~ is in play, "until end of turn" and "this" turn effects don't end. Stone-Cold Basilisk 4G Creature - Basilisk U 2.5/5 Whenever ~ blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.) / Whenever an opponent reads ~, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, or play spells or abilities. Stop That B Instant C Target player discards a card. / Gotcha - Whenever an opponent audibly flicks the cards in his or her hand, you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Super Secret Tech 3 Artifact X All premium spells cost 1 less to play. / All premium creatures get +1/+1. Supersize 1G Instant C Target creature gets +3.5/+3.5 until end of turn. Swamp Basic Land - Swamp [B] Symbol Status 2GG Sorcery U Put a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token into play for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control. Tainted Monkey 1B Creature - Ape C 1/1 Tap: Choose a word. Target player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard. If that card has the chosen word in its text box, that player loses 3 life. The Fallen Apart 2BB Creature - Zombie C 4/4 ~ comes into play with two arms and two legs. / Whenever damage is dealt to ~, remove an arm or a leg from it. / ~ can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms. Time Machine 5 Artifact R Tap: Remove ~ and target nontoken creature you own from the game. Return both cards to play at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X of the next game you play with the same opponent, where X is the removed creature's converted mana cost. Togglodyte 3 Artifact Creature - Golem U 4/4 ~ comes into play turned on. / Whenever a player plays a spell, toggle ~'s ON/OFF switch. / As long as ~ is turned off, it can't attack or block, and all damage it would deal is prevented. Topsy Turvy 2U Enchantment R The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, end, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.) / If there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed. Touch and Go 3R Sorcery C Destroy target land. / Gotcha - Whenever an opponent touches his or her face, you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand. Toy Boat 3 Artifact Creature - Ship U 3/3 Cumulative upkeep - Say ~ quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on ~, then sacrifice it unless you say ~ once for each age counter on it - without pausing between or fumbling it.) Uktabi Kong 5GGG Creature - Ape R 8/8 Trample When ~ comes into play, destroy all artifacts. / Tap two untapped Apes you control: Put a 1/1 green Ape creature token into play. Urza's Hot Tub 2 Artifact U 2,Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library. Vile Bile 1B Creature - Ooze C 2.5/2.5 Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches ~, that player loses 2 life. Water Gun Balloon Game 2 Artifact R As ~ comes into play, each player puts a pop! counter on a 0. / Whenever a player plays a spell, move that player's pop! counter up 1. / Whenever a player's pop! counter hits 5, that player puts a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token into play and resets all pop! counters to 0. Wet Willie of the Damned 2BB Sorcery C ~ deals 2.5 damage to target creature or player and you gain 2.5 life. When Fluffy Bunnies Attack 3B Instant C Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name. Who/What/When/Where/Why Instant R Who XW Target player gains X life. ----- What 2R Destroy target artifact. ----- When 2U Counter target creature spell. ----- Where 3B Destroy target land. ----- Why 1G Destroy target enchantment. Wordmail W Enchant Creature C Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name. Working Stiff 1B Creature - Mummy U 2/2 As ~ comes into play, straighten your arms. / When you bend an elbow, sacrifice ~. World-Bottling Kit 5 Artifact R 5,Sacrifice ~: Choose a _Magic_ set. Remove from the game all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands. Yet Another AEther Vortex 3RR Enchantment R All creatures have haste. / Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed. / Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are in play under their owner's control in addition to being in that library. Zombie Fanboy 2B Creature - Zombie Gamer U 1/1 As ~ comes into play, choose an artist. / Whenever a permanent by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on ~. Zzzyxas's Abyss 1BB Enchantment R At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents in play. ------ (*) Vigilance text: (Attacking doesn't cause it to tap.) Wizards of the Coast owns the copyright and trademarks to Magic, and nothing in here should be construed as challenging that; all card texts included here are copyright WotC, and several of the gaming terms are its trademarks. They have given permission to use the exact texts for nonprofit, non-commercial uses; you may not sell this list for profit or use it for non-educational purposes.